¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Claire\'s Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2022-10-12 2022

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think is the worst invention of mankind?
I think the worst invention is the gun.
Guns are often abused for crimes, terrorism, etc. I can hear a lot of news about accidents that are related to guns.
Governments stipulate the use of guns, but bad things happen regardless of the rules or hopes.
Also, guns are used as the most common weapons in war.
In my opinion, guns perhaps made the situation worse. If guns weren't invented, fewer people could have lost their lives.
Not only humans, guns are killing animals too.
Guns are used for hunting animals.
I hope no more people gets hurt of lose their lives because of guns.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!
I'm so impressed! This was very close to perfection! You wrote this so well. I'm proud of your improvements. See you next week! ^^
~~Teacher Kate 

I think the worst invention is the gun.
>>CORRECT!
Guns are often abused for crimes, terrorism, etc. 
>>CORRECT!
I can hear a lot of news about accidents that are related to guns.
>>CORRECT!
Governments stipulate the use of guns, but bad things happen regardless of the rules or hopes.
>>Governments regulate the use of guns, but bad things happen regardless of the rules or limitations. 
Also, guns are used as the most common weapons in war.
>>CORRECT!
In my opinion, guns perhaps made the situation worse. 
>>CORRECT!
If guns weren't invented, fewer people could have lost their lives.
>>CORRECT!
Not only humans, guns are killing animals too.
>>CORRECT!
Guns are used for hunting animals.
>>CORRECT!
I hope no more people gets hurt of lose their lives because of guns.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120000 self introduction ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 689
119999 What are your favorite foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 371
119998 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 784
119997 John Sculley said•• ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 261
119996 What holiday do you think should be removed from your country... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 362
119995 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 621
119994 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 554
119993 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 259
119992 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 581
119991 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 321
119990 What do you think about the dutch treat? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 587
119989 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 0
119988 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 0
119987 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 1
119986 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 0
119985 Where would you like to live? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 1
119984 What holiday do you think should be removed from your country... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 650
119983 Do you still believe in traditional medicines? Why or why not? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 321
119982 What is the most expensive thing that you would want to buy and... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 2
119981 What do you think of hitch-hicking? Is it safe to hitch-hike? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 217

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04