¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Wednesday Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-10-12 1644

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: Many countries are facing the problem of an "aging population", meaning there will soon be more old people than young people. What problems will this cause?
A: I think aging population will cause the decrease of workers.
Workers should be strong, but if many countries are facing the problem of an aging population, then the workers can be decrease.
Also, if the aging population continues, then the total population can be decrease too.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think aging population will cause the decrease of workers.

>> I think the aging population will cause the decrease of workers.
Workers should be strong, but if many countries are facing the problem of an aging population, then the workers can be decrease.

>> Workers should be strong, but if many countries are facing the problem of an aging population, then the number of workers can decrease.
Also, if the aging population continues, then the total population can be decrease too.

>> Also, if the aging population continues, then the total population will decrease too.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123442 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 0
123441 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 0
123440 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 1183
123439 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 2003
123438 ingredients ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 1
123437 What are some interesting tidbits about your grandparents? What... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 0
123436 Tell us about the most important festival in your country in... ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 11
123435 What is the best film you have ever seen? What is the worst film... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 1543
123434 What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling alone? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 2092
123433 The present ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 0
123432 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 1
123431 Do you agree that the recent tragedy in Itaewon could have been... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 1316
123430 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 5
123429 dropouts ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 1421
123428 What do you like about field day? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 5
123427 Have you ever advised using the English language? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-07 0
123426 If you can have one superpower, what would it be and why? :) ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1735
123425 11/4 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1708
123424 4.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 2
123423 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1729

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04