¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-11 1614

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T. Donna.
It was a tough day.
I had a meeting with a marketing manager who want to resign a few minutes ago.
Of course, I tried to turn her mind back, it was failed.
She seemed to be exhausted about her work more than I have thought.
And I have another bad news.
New staff who joined us today resigned.
She was unsatisfied with our clinic's welfare.
Although she got her job for good salary, she wanted more and more.
However, as we know that, she was a just new employee.
How could I give everything she wanted at first day?
I should not have let her join us.
Meanwhile, I thought I am a good advisor.
After this event, I had to change my thought.
That's because I failed to turn one's mind back.
As I got older, some kind of thought came to my mind.
It's useless to give advice to someone who doesn't want it.
Tonight, I really need a whiskey.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, good evening, Dr. Kim!

It's yet another challenging day there in your clinic. I wonder why your staff leave one by one every now and then. Honestly, I have worked on the radio for 15 years with a very low salary but I never considered leaving my job because I find value in what I do and it adds joy and meaning to my life. The question is, "How can you make them feel this way so that they will never leave? However, we know that it is unfair to compare the radio and the clinic because tasks and dynamics with colleagues are different.

It was a good try to convince your staff for one last time to stay. Even so, you are absolutely right- they will leave if they want to. Therefore, consider all factors and continuously evaluate your leadership as well as your guidelines so that they can find working in your clinic valuable and meaningful. It may also be good to ask the reason for every employee who leaves as a survey for their reason of leaving.  I am sure you can resolve this problem in no time. 

This composition was well crafted from beginning to end. Review my suggestions and analyze carefully the grammar points.

When in doubt, pray to God about your concerns. He answers. Then, cheers to your glass of whisky for the road!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It was a tough day.
>> Correct!

I had a meeting with a marketing manager who want to resign a few minutes ago.
>> I had a meeting with the marketing manager who wants to resign a few minutes ago.

Of course, I tried to turn her mind back, it was failed.
>> Of course, I tried to turn her mind back but I failed.

She seemed to be exhausted about her work more than I have thought.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

And I have another bad news.
>> And, I have another bad news.

New staff who joined us today resigned.
>> The new staff who joined us today resigned.

She was unsatisfied with our clinic's welfare.
>> Correct!

Although she got her job for good salary, she wanted more and more.
>> Correct!

However, as we know that, she was a just new employee.
>> However, as we know, she is just a new employee.

How could I give everything she wanted at first day?
>>How could I give everything she wanted at the first day?

I should not have let her join us.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!

Meanwhile, I thought I am a good advisor.
>> Correct!

After this event, I had to change my thought.
>> Correct!
Or: After this event, I have to change my thoughts.

That's because I failed to turn one's mind back.
>> Correct!
Or: That's because I failed to convince someone.

As I got older, some kind of thought came to my mind.
>> Correct!
>> As I get older, some kind of thought comes to my mind.

It's useless to give advice to someone who doesn't want it.
>> Correct!

Tonight, I really need a whiskey.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123400 made japchae ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1712
123399 I think that people who do business should be able to use the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2181
123398 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1
123397 subsidy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1337
123396 Describe a rule that you don¡¯t like ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2
123395 11.03.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1
123394 What hobbies do you think would be boring? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2
123393 What advice can you give to someone who wants to learn how to... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 236
123392 The reason why English fluency is significant for me ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1216
123391 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1229
123390 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1888
123389 11/3 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 988
123388 What is the most beautiful artwork you have ever seen before?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1440
123387 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 4
123386 Some people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 2135
123385 Have you experienced having fake friends with bad intentions?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1297
123384 What is the downside of living in an urban or busy hometown? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1375
123383 Having many siblings are better ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 0
123382 Do gestures help you to understand others and express yourself,... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1742
123381 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04