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Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of growing up?

작성자: 황*하
2022-10-11 1823

회원님의 영작문

Children must have a lot of experiences before they become an adult because people usually have matured after hard time. However, school bullying is not right thing whcih students must experience. Many students have complained of mental problem and physical pain too. It sometimes leads to teenager's suicide. Bullying exists various forms - mental, physical and cyber bullying. I don't think that punishment with the law is the right solution because we have already studied it in our life. The crime rate has not been decreasing, although there are many method to punish criminals. Students, teachers and parents have to aware how they feel. Most students who have experienced bullying feel anxiety every time. Adults might not understand their psychological status because they consider it as a light problem. It is not easy to solve this issue but if all people try to solve the problem, we can solve the problem.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Children must have a lot of experiences before they become an adult because people usually have matured after hard time. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, school bullying is not right thing whcih students must experience. 
>> However, school bullying is not a right thing which students must experience. 
Many students have complained of mental problem and physical pain too. 
>> CORRECT! 
It sometimes leads to teenager's suicide. 
>> CORRECT! 
Bullying exists various forms - mental, physical and cyber bullying. 
>> Bullying exists in various forms - mental, physical and cyber bullying. 
I don't think that punishment with the law is the right solution because we have already studied it in our life. 
>> CORRECT! 
The crime rate has not been decreasing, although there are many method to punish criminals.
>> The crime rate has not been decreasing, although there are many methods to punish criminals.
Students, teachers and parents have to aware how they feel. 
>> Students, teachers, and parents have to be aware of how they feel. 
Most students who have experienced bullying feel anxiety every time. 
>> Most students who have experienced bullying feel anxious every time. 
Adults might not understand their psychological status because they consider it as a light problem.
>> CORRECT! 
 It is not easy to solve this issue but if all people try to solve the problem, we can solve the problem.
>> CORRECT! 

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