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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

Do you agree that expanded programs should be granted by the government for digital education especi

작성자: 황*하
2022-10-11 1200

회원님의 영작문

If the public education is enough to educate students, we don't have to think of private instutites. Koreans spend huge money for academy from arts to basic subjects such as math, languages and science because of the strong competition. It has been for ages becoming social problem. Teachers and professionals have tried to change educational environment like western countries ,but we still don't believe what schools teach. Many parents are worried about the quality of education at school so they send their children to private instutes which teach qualitative education in advance than school curriculums. For such a reason, I think that expanded programs should be granted by the government for digital education. It also meet the customer's right of choice and the right of education in our special educatinal environment. However, if public education does its roles in right way, I don't think we don't need private academies anymore. That might leads students to happy life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

If the public education is enough to educate students, we don't have to think of private instutites. 
>> If the public education is enough to educate students, we don't have to think of private institutes. 
Koreans spend huge money for academy from arts to basic subjects such as math, languages and science because of the strong competition. 
>> CORRECT! 
It has been for ages becoming social problem. 
>> It has been for ages of becoming a social problem. 
Teachers and professionals have tried to change educational environment like western countries ,but we still don't believe what schools teach. 
>> CORRECT! 
Many parents are worried about the quality of education at school so they send their children to private instutes which teach qualitative education in advance than school curriculums. 
>> Many parents are worried about the quality of education at school so they send their children to private institutes which teach qualitative education in advance than school curriculums. 
For such a reason, I think that expanded programs should be granted by the government for digital education. 
>> CORRECT! 
It also meet the customer's right of choice and the right of education in our special educatinal environment. 
>> It also meets the customer's right of choice and the right of education in our special educational environment. 
However, if public education does its roles in right way, I don't think we don't need private academies anymore. 
>> CORRECT! 
That might leads students to happy life.
>> CORRECT! 

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