¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-10 2122

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
So, this is a big problem.
I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
I think that was honorable.
And I want to be such a nice man someday.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Geun Woo!

I wish for you and Dr. MJ to both have a very smooth day in spite of all the challenges of the exodus of your employees. Since it is becoming quite the trend lately, your contingency must be focused on making your rmployees satisfied. If they want to leave, then you need to have a very good replacement ASAP. This way, your team doesn't feel crippled. Anyway,  I will not be surprised if you will take a shot of whiskey when these things happen.

Now, rich people have more capabilities to help the poor by giving them the chance to educate themselves and make their lives better. Like Bill Gates who created so many foundations to improve lives of people, you too can be one of the doctors who will give comfort to the lives of those in need. It is a nobel way to give back to the society the gift we have received.

This composition is great. The grammar suggestions are more on the correct use of the article 'a' and some word arrangement to create a very clear message. So, keep it upw ith your great skill in composition!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
>> Although many clinics around us decided to do a day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.

There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
>> Correct!

A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
>> Correct!
Or: A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign.

She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
>> She has loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.

So, this is a big problem.
>> Correct!

I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
>>  Correct!
Or: I tried to turn her mind back and she got better but not 100%.

Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
>> Correct!

In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
>> Correct!

However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
>> Correct!

Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
>>  What I can only do is looking forward to next cheat day.

Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
>> Anyway, I think today's homework is about the responsibility of rich people to others.

I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
>> Correct!

I think that was honorable.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I think that is honorable.

And I want to be such a nice man someday.
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123138 Describe your favorite type of weather. ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2
123137 retirement ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1847
123136 10/21 HOMEWORK+ ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1372
123135 What do you like to do at parties? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1
123134 10/21 HOMEWORK+ ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1625
123133 10/21 HOMEWORK+ ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2208
123132 10/21 HOMEWORK+ ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1328
123131 What do you think is the difference between a picnic and camping? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 3026
123130 10/20 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1729
123129 make sentence ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1123
123128 vacation ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1272
123127 social ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 966
123126 Place ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1811
123125 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 945
123124 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 0
123123 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 2049
123122 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 0
123121 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 2207
123120 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1604
123119 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04