¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-10 2383

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
So, this is a big problem.
I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
I think that was honorable.
And I want to be such a nice man someday.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Geun Woo!

I wish for you and Dr. MJ to both have a very smooth day in spite of all the challenges of the exodus of your employees. Since it is becoming quite the trend lately, your contingency must be focused on making your rmployees satisfied. If they want to leave, then you need to have a very good replacement ASAP. This way, your team doesn't feel crippled. Anyway,  I will not be surprised if you will take a shot of whiskey when these things happen.

Now, rich people have more capabilities to help the poor by giving them the chance to educate themselves and make their lives better. Like Bill Gates who created so many foundations to improve lives of people, you too can be one of the doctors who will give comfort to the lives of those in need. It is a nobel way to give back to the society the gift we have received.

This composition is great. The grammar suggestions are more on the correct use of the article 'a' and some word arrangement to create a very clear message. So, keep it upw ith your great skill in composition!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
>> Although many clinics around us decided to do a day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.

There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
>> Correct!

A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
>> Correct!
Or: A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign.

She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
>> She has loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.

So, this is a big problem.
>> Correct!

I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
>>  Correct!
Or: I tried to turn her mind back and she got better but not 100%.

Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
>> Correct!

In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
>> Correct!

However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
>> Correct!

Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
>>  What I can only do is looking forward to next cheat day.

Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
>> Anyway, I think today's homework is about the responsibility of rich people to others.

I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
>> Correct!

I think that was honorable.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I think that is honorable.

And I want to be such a nice man someday.
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120518 How often do you eat out? / How much do you usually pay when you... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 1
120517 Which is better, to go shopping on weekdays or on weekends? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 808
120516 Should children have curfew? Why or why not? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 0
120515 Do you interrupt your study activities or do all the homework at... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 605
120514 What thing do you have right now that you are renting? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 4
120513 If you can renovate something in your house, what would it be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 457
120512 Today\'s homework. ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 561
120511 7/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 570
120510 If you can renovate something in your house, what would it be... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 608
120509 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 407
120508 Writing Task(Jul 5th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 595
120507 Do you think there are enough doctors in your town? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 668
120506 Writing Task(Jul 4th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 365
120505 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 387
120504 Do you have a fovorite restaurant? What kind of meal do you... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1
120503 What do you think is the most dangerous disease ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 453
120502 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 2
120501 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 595
120500 Han bok! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 686
120499 Best mistake I ever had ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 618

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04