¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-10 2929

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
So, this is a big problem.
I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
I think that was honorable.
And I want to be such a nice man someday.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Geun Woo!

I wish for you and Dr. MJ to both have a very smooth day in spite of all the challenges of the exodus of your employees. Since it is becoming quite the trend lately, your contingency must be focused on making your rmployees satisfied. If they want to leave, then you need to have a very good replacement ASAP. This way, your team doesn't feel crippled. Anyway,  I will not be surprised if you will take a shot of whiskey when these things happen.

Now, rich people have more capabilities to help the poor by giving them the chance to educate themselves and make their lives better. Like Bill Gates who created so many foundations to improve lives of people, you too can be one of the doctors who will give comfort to the lives of those in need. It is a nobel way to give back to the society the gift we have received.

This composition is great. The grammar suggestions are more on the correct use of the article 'a' and some word arrangement to create a very clear message. So, keep it upw ith your great skill in composition!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
>> Although many clinics around us decided to do a day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.

There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
>> Correct!

A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
>> Correct!
Or: A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign.

She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
>> She has loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.

So, this is a big problem.
>> Correct!

I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
>>  Correct!
Or: I tried to turn her mind back and she got better but not 100%.

Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
>> Correct!

In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
>> Correct!

However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
>> Correct!

Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
>>  What I can only do is looking forward to next cheat day.

Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
>> Anyway, I think today's homework is about the responsibility of rich people to others.

I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
>> Correct!

I think that was honorable.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I think that is honorable.

And I want to be such a nice man someday.
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123352 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 2257
123351 If possible, I want to learn English according to the teacher\'s... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 2199
123350 Hi teacher ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1
123349 What challenges must society face when dealing with accidents,... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 2155
123348 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1
123347 Do you think the weather affects how we feel? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 5
123346 In 5 sentences, please write your expectations from the class... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1879
123345 Describe a person who contributes to the society. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1
123344 What\'s your favorite toy? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1
123343 11.01.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 2
123342 Would you rather be smart or beautiful / handsome? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-02 1589
123341 Money ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2069
123340 What were the causal factors of the accident? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1675
123339 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1895
123338 How do you feel when you take food supplements? Share your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1558
123337 Do rich people have the responsibility to help the poor? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1
123336 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2114
123335 How much free time do you usually have? What do you like to do... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2102
123334 How is the Internet affecting our intelligence? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1394
123333 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1687

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04