¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-10 2190

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
So, this is a big problem.
I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
I think that was honorable.
And I want to be such a nice man someday.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Geun Woo!

I wish for you and Dr. MJ to both have a very smooth day in spite of all the challenges of the exodus of your employees. Since it is becoming quite the trend lately, your contingency must be focused on making your rmployees satisfied. If they want to leave, then you need to have a very good replacement ASAP. This way, your team doesn't feel crippled. Anyway,  I will not be surprised if you will take a shot of whiskey when these things happen.

Now, rich people have more capabilities to help the poor by giving them the chance to educate themselves and make their lives better. Like Bill Gates who created so many foundations to improve lives of people, you too can be one of the doctors who will give comfort to the lives of those in need. It is a nobel way to give back to the society the gift we have received.

This composition is great. The grammar suggestions are more on the correct use of the article 'a' and some word arrangement to create a very clear message. So, keep it upw ith your great skill in composition!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Although many clinics around us decided to do day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.
>> Although many clinics around us decided to do a day-off because today is a replaced holiday, I worked in my clinic today.

There were not too many clients, so I could do paper works instead of seeing patients all day.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, there was a bad news.
>> Correct!

A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign just before.
>> Correct!
Or: A marketing manager who has an important role in our clinic told me that she wanted to resign.

She has a loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.
>> She has loyalty and is good at every work in the clinic.

So, this is a big problem.
>> Correct!

I tried to turn her mind back, and she got better, not 100%.
>>  Correct!
Or: I tried to turn her mind back and she got better but not 100%.

Maybe, Dr. MJ and I have to solve this problem tomorrow.
>> Correct!

In this situation, I really miss the whiskey, raw fish, and intestine food.
>> Correct!

However, I can't eat them because of my diet.
>> Correct!

Only what I can do is looking forward to next cheat day.
>>  What I can only do is looking forward to next cheat day.

Anyway, I think today's homework is about a responsibility of rich people to others.
>> Anyway, I think today's homework is about the responsibility of rich people to others.

I heard that some CEO or entertainer gave much money to facilities for poor people.
>> Correct!

I think that was honorable.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I think that is honorable.

And I want to be such a nice man someday.
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122217 Does the place you live have a low-stress environment? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122216 Would you rather go into the past or the future to meet someone... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 908
122215 What can we do to avoid depression? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 808
122214 09.06.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122213 9/6 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1376
122212 9/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2012
122211 Mars ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1503
122210 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1315
122209 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1501
122208 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 3440
122207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1524
122206 What would you wish for if you saw a falling star? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1210
122205 I\'m sorry teacher but please correct as soon as posible ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1509
122204 How can the government step up more actively to rearrange... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122203 What body language do you think is common in all cultures? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122202 Even though you may have been terrified by a particular ride,... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 924
122201 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1518
122200 Describe your dream house in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1434
122199 Coffee shop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122198 Are you happy with a two-day weekend or should it be three days?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 923

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04