¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Advances in medical technology mean people are living longer. What are some of the downsides of this

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2022-10-06 2138

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe that with development of medical technology, people's life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before. They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
However, there are some drawbacks. Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system. They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life. In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health. I want to work until my 65 ages and then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jane! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I believe that with development of medical technology, people's life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before. 
>>> I believe that with the development of medical technology, people's life expectancy will get longer and longer than before. 

They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
>>> They can be checked by checking health in the advance exam and be cared for by high medical cure ways.

However, there are some drawbacks. 
>>> CORRECT!

Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system. 
>>> Firstly, some people are just living in the ICUs of hospitals or nursing homes depending on ventilators or oxygen systems. 

They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.
>>> They cannot speak and breathe by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.

In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
>>> In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthily with stamina rather than living longer and longer.

Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health. 
>>> Personally, I want to live until my mid-80s healthy. 

I want to work until my 65 ages and then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
>>> I want to work until the age of 65 then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121631 H ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1
121630 What are the ingredients of your favorite food and how often do... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 956
121629 What does music mean to you? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 679
121628 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1
121627 Do you eat healthy food? / What healthy food do you want to eat? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 818
121626 What was the most difficult experience you faced in your life?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 335
121625 How are birthdays celebrated in your country? How would you want... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 631
121624 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 389
121623 What are your concerns about transportation in your country? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 701
121622 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 0
121621 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 609
121620 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 331
121619 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1
121618 Is Chuseok seen as a time of year to reunite with family,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 935
121617 Bad service ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121616 What kind of phone do you have? etc. ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 825
121615 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 481
121614 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 358
121613 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 667
121612 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 758

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04