¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-05 2704

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening.
This morning, I had a good time with my wife.
We rode a bicycle together.
Although my wife fell down five times, she was not afraid of riding.
Hence, I was so proud of her, and looked up to her.
After riding, we ate a japanese style noodles; named Genroku Woodong.
I ate too much, and I regretted it.
About today's our clinic, one of staffs quitted because of low salary.
She was supposed to get more salary next month.
What a shame!
However, we have a plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.
There was a worse thing today.
Some staffs in the information desk made mistakes many times.
I wish it will be better.
Today's homework is about a first impression of me.
Actually, many friends of mine talked to me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.
So, I tried to change my impression; especially made smile as many as I can.
Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into a good impression.
What do you say to my first impression?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

What a sweet moment you had with your wife! I hope that you can have more bonding time together when you get more free time and when your children are in school. Quality time is rare nowadays.

What a real shame indeed for the staff leaving and will receive a pay increase soon. Money can really change people and decide to leave. So, you might want to discuss your salary matrix with Dr. MJ. 

First impressions are so crucial. Sometimes, there may be no more second chance to meet someone and undo a bad first impression. So, we always have to put our best foot forward in meeting people for the first time. Well, I remember the first day of our class. I greeted you, "Hi, Geun Woo!". After you told me that you are a doctor, I called you "Dr. Kim" immediately. Maybe I have much respect for doctors because it is a very noble job. Furthermore, you spoke so clearly and you were very careful in pronouncing your words. Then, I thought, you have been speaking in English for a long time. I knew that all doctors in South Korea must speak English and your speech was crystal clear and the tone of your voice was very kind and moderate.

After you wrote me your very first composition homework, it also gave me the impression of your hardwork and dedication to the things you do. You are passionate, driven, family-oriented and focused, as well as a true gentleman who loves a sip of whiskey and an exquisite taste of food if given the chance.

What I like about your writing here on this composition are your expressions such as "What a shame!", among others. Keep up this style. It adds flavor and character to your writing. For the rest of my suggestions, check them out below.
Have a great night!

-T. Donna~

Good evening.
>> Correct!

This morning, I had a good time with my wife.
>> Correct!

We rode a bicycle together.
>> Correct!

Although my wife fell down five times, she was not afraid of riding.
>> Correct!

Hence, I was so proud of her, and looked up to her.
>> Correct!

After riding, we ate a japanese style noodles; named Genroku Woodong.
>> Correct!
Or: Japanese

I ate too much, and I regretted it.
>> Correct!

About today's our clinic, one of staffs quitted because of low salary.
>> Today in our clinic, one of the staff quitted because of low salary.

She was supposed to get more salary next month.
>> Correct!

What a shame!
>> Correct!

However, we have a plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.
>> However, we have plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.

There was a worse thing today.
>> Correct!
>> There was a worse thing that happened today.

Some staffs in the information desk made mistakes many times.
>> Correct!

I wish it will be better.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about a first impression of me.
>> Correct!
Or: Today's homework is about my first impression from people.

Actually, many friends of mine talked to me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.
>> Actually, many friends of mine told me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.

So, I tried to change my impression; especially made smile as many as I can.
>>  So, I tried to change my impression; especially smiling as much as I can.

Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into a good impression.
>> Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into having a good impression.

What do you say to my first impression?
>> What do you say about my first impression?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122938 Can you call me my account canadacaleb@naver.com skype account? ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 0
122937 banana À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 1087
122936 What do you do on the weekends? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 1
122935 What was your favorite toy when you were a child? Who gave you... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 1199
122934 10/11 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2185
122933 Describe your favorite commercial ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 1
122932 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 1
122931 10/11 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1439
122930 sensitive ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1850
122929 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1229
122928 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1748
122927 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1595
122926 What is a generation gap? Explain your answer in five sentences. ±¸*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-10-11 2408
122925 Of all the places you live in including Canada and Fiji Island,... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 9397
122924 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 2
122923 Do all students actually study or do some find ways to do their... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1786
122922 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1595
122921 Lost ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1
122920 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1891
122919 The factor that makes travel interesting is- ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1482

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04