¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-05 3140

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening.
This morning, I had a good time with my wife.
We rode a bicycle together.
Although my wife fell down five times, she was not afraid of riding.
Hence, I was so proud of her, and looked up to her.
After riding, we ate a japanese style noodles; named Genroku Woodong.
I ate too much, and I regretted it.
About today's our clinic, one of staffs quitted because of low salary.
She was supposed to get more salary next month.
What a shame!
However, we have a plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.
There was a worse thing today.
Some staffs in the information desk made mistakes many times.
I wish it will be better.
Today's homework is about a first impression of me.
Actually, many friends of mine talked to me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.
So, I tried to change my impression; especially made smile as many as I can.
Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into a good impression.
What do you say to my first impression?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

What a sweet moment you had with your wife! I hope that you can have more bonding time together when you get more free time and when your children are in school. Quality time is rare nowadays.

What a real shame indeed for the staff leaving and will receive a pay increase soon. Money can really change people and decide to leave. So, you might want to discuss your salary matrix with Dr. MJ. 

First impressions are so crucial. Sometimes, there may be no more second chance to meet someone and undo a bad first impression. So, we always have to put our best foot forward in meeting people for the first time. Well, I remember the first day of our class. I greeted you, "Hi, Geun Woo!". After you told me that you are a doctor, I called you "Dr. Kim" immediately. Maybe I have much respect for doctors because it is a very noble job. Furthermore, you spoke so clearly and you were very careful in pronouncing your words. Then, I thought, you have been speaking in English for a long time. I knew that all doctors in South Korea must speak English and your speech was crystal clear and the tone of your voice was very kind and moderate.

After you wrote me your very first composition homework, it also gave me the impression of your hardwork and dedication to the things you do. You are passionate, driven, family-oriented and focused, as well as a true gentleman who loves a sip of whiskey and an exquisite taste of food if given the chance.

What I like about your writing here on this composition are your expressions such as "What a shame!", among others. Keep up this style. It adds flavor and character to your writing. For the rest of my suggestions, check them out below.
Have a great night!

-T. Donna~

Good evening.
>> Correct!

This morning, I had a good time with my wife.
>> Correct!

We rode a bicycle together.
>> Correct!

Although my wife fell down five times, she was not afraid of riding.
>> Correct!

Hence, I was so proud of her, and looked up to her.
>> Correct!

After riding, we ate a japanese style noodles; named Genroku Woodong.
>> Correct!
Or: Japanese

I ate too much, and I regretted it.
>> Correct!

About today's our clinic, one of staffs quitted because of low salary.
>> Today in our clinic, one of the staff quitted because of low salary.

She was supposed to get more salary next month.
>> Correct!

What a shame!
>> Correct!

However, we have a plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.
>> However, we have plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.

There was a worse thing today.
>> Correct!
>> There was a worse thing that happened today.

Some staffs in the information desk made mistakes many times.
>> Correct!

I wish it will be better.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about a first impression of me.
>> Correct!
Or: Today's homework is about my first impression from people.

Actually, many friends of mine talked to me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.
>> Actually, many friends of mine told me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.

So, I tried to change my impression; especially made smile as many as I can.
>>  So, I tried to change my impression; especially smiling as much as I can.

Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into a good impression.
>> Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into having a good impression.

What do you say to my first impression?
>> What do you say about my first impression?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117510 What is bread? How important is bread in your life? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 907
117509 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1117
117508 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 2
117507 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 0
117506 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 882
117505 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 733
117504 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 2
117503 Animal cruelty is a crime. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 651
117502 My Weakness ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 568
117501 Where is the best place in your country to see or experience... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 563
117500 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117499 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117498 My weakness ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 599
117497 What makes you happy? ÇÑ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 433
117496 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 799
117495 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 817
117494 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 597
117493 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 892
117492 2022.3.16 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 654
117491 202.3.15 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 572

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04