¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-05 2788

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening.
This morning, I had a good time with my wife.
We rode a bicycle together.
Although my wife fell down five times, she was not afraid of riding.
Hence, I was so proud of her, and looked up to her.
After riding, we ate a japanese style noodles; named Genroku Woodong.
I ate too much, and I regretted it.
About today's our clinic, one of staffs quitted because of low salary.
She was supposed to get more salary next month.
What a shame!
However, we have a plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.
There was a worse thing today.
Some staffs in the information desk made mistakes many times.
I wish it will be better.
Today's homework is about a first impression of me.
Actually, many friends of mine talked to me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.
So, I tried to change my impression; especially made smile as many as I can.
Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into a good impression.
What do you say to my first impression?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

What a sweet moment you had with your wife! I hope that you can have more bonding time together when you get more free time and when your children are in school. Quality time is rare nowadays.

What a real shame indeed for the staff leaving and will receive a pay increase soon. Money can really change people and decide to leave. So, you might want to discuss your salary matrix with Dr. MJ. 

First impressions are so crucial. Sometimes, there may be no more second chance to meet someone and undo a bad first impression. So, we always have to put our best foot forward in meeting people for the first time. Well, I remember the first day of our class. I greeted you, "Hi, Geun Woo!". After you told me that you are a doctor, I called you "Dr. Kim" immediately. Maybe I have much respect for doctors because it is a very noble job. Furthermore, you spoke so clearly and you were very careful in pronouncing your words. Then, I thought, you have been speaking in English for a long time. I knew that all doctors in South Korea must speak English and your speech was crystal clear and the tone of your voice was very kind and moderate.

After you wrote me your very first composition homework, it also gave me the impression of your hardwork and dedication to the things you do. You are passionate, driven, family-oriented and focused, as well as a true gentleman who loves a sip of whiskey and an exquisite taste of food if given the chance.

What I like about your writing here on this composition are your expressions such as "What a shame!", among others. Keep up this style. It adds flavor and character to your writing. For the rest of my suggestions, check them out below.
Have a great night!

-T. Donna~

Good evening.
>> Correct!

This morning, I had a good time with my wife.
>> Correct!

We rode a bicycle together.
>> Correct!

Although my wife fell down five times, she was not afraid of riding.
>> Correct!

Hence, I was so proud of her, and looked up to her.
>> Correct!

After riding, we ate a japanese style noodles; named Genroku Woodong.
>> Correct!
Or: Japanese

I ate too much, and I regretted it.
>> Correct!

About today's our clinic, one of staffs quitted because of low salary.
>> Today in our clinic, one of the staff quitted because of low salary.

She was supposed to get more salary next month.
>> Correct!

What a shame!
>> Correct!

However, we have a plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.
>> However, we have plenty of staffs these days, so we don't need to worry about it.

There was a worse thing today.
>> Correct!
>> There was a worse thing that happened today.

Some staffs in the information desk made mistakes many times.
>> Correct!

I wish it will be better.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about a first impression of me.
>> Correct!
Or: Today's homework is about my first impression from people.

Actually, many friends of mine talked to me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.
>> Actually, many friends of mine told me that I seemed to be unkind, unfriendly, and even rude at first.

So, I tried to change my impression; especially made smile as many as I can.
>>  So, I tried to change my impression; especially smiling as much as I can.

Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into a good impression.
>> Lately, my close friends told me that I changed into having a good impression.

What do you say to my first impression?
>> What do you say about my first impression?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122117 What is the best movie you have ever seen? What is the story all... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1181
122116 How do you balance your work and personal life? Do you prefer a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 2224
122115 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 2
122114 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 0
122113 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 908
122112 How does your family decide who does various chores around the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1297
122111 Enumerate the machines and equipment in your office ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 965
122110 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1001
122109 Describe in as much detail as possible what your office looks... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 998
122108 What foreign greetings are interesting to you? Why? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1134
122107 Homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1
122106 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1
122105 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 3
122104 Where are the best places for historical vacations? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1
122103 Where in the world would you most like to go for your next... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1
122102 Do you think that a person¡¯s eating habits affect how long they... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 2
122101 over ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1405
122100 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1604
122099 How can you have a balanced life? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 1319
122098 If you were an item of clothing, what would you be and why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-02 2004

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04