¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Jennny\'s English composition

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿ì*¼±
2022-10-04 1734

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Monday i went to the amusement park, with my friends. We rode the subway. And we Arrived at pm12. We first rode commet express. We rode twice! It was funny. And we ate dinner, we rode Viking. It was scared. And we go to ghost house. It was very very scared.After than I cried.And we rode Teacup. I died for so feel dizzy..And we watch Halloween parade.it was so fantastic. And we road wild vally,wild wing and fiy venture,too. And go to the home at pm 8;30. IT was so fun,I want to go my friends again.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jenny! ^_^ Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful experience with your friends. ^^ I sure hope you get to hang out with them again~ ^^
~T.Harmony

Monday i went to the amusement park, with my friends.
>> My friends and I went to an amusement park last Monday.
We rode the subway.
>> CORRECT!
And we Arrived at pm12.
>> We arrived at our destination at 12 noon.
We first rode commet express.
>> We first rode the Comet Express. 
We rode twice! 
>> We actually went on that ride twice!
It was funny.
>> CORRECT!
And we ate dinner, we rode Viking.
>> We had dinner before getting on the Viking.
It was scared.
>> It was scary.
And we go to ghost house.
>> We then went to a ghost house.
It was very very scared.
>> It was very frightening.
After than I cried.
>> I cried after that.
And we rode Teacup.
>> We also rode the Teacup.
I died for so feel dizzy.
>> I could almost pass out from the nausea I felt.
And we watch Halloween parade.
>> We watched a Halloween parade together.
It was so fantastic. 
>> CORRECT!
And we road wild vally,wild wing and fiy venture,too.
>> We rode the Wild Valley, Wild Wing and Fly Venture as well.
And go to the home at pm 8;30.
>> We decided to go home at 8:30PM.
IT was so fun, I want to go my friends again.
>> We had a lot of fun, and I hope to return to that amusement park with my friends.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123426 If you can have one superpower, what would it be and why? :) ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1764
123425 11/4 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1736
123424 4.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 2
123423 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1757
123422 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1724
123421 Why do people go to see fortunetellers? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1842
123420 How can traveling be educational? È«*ÀÇ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1
123419 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1419
123418 What other opportunities are you looking forward to in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1772
123417 Is online schooling as effective as in-class education? Why or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1131
123416 What do you think is the most common crime in your country? Why?... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 916
123415 electronic ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1004
123414 starving ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1718
123413 The only complaint I have with English is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1350
123412 Tell us about the most important festival in your country in... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1141
123411 How many subjects do you have at school? Why is it important to... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1644
123410 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1638
123409 Are you a night owl or a morning person? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2471
123408 It is the 21st century. Why are people in some places still... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1646
123407 How much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04