¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Jennny\'s English composition

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿ì*¼±
2022-10-04 1897

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Monday i went to the amusement park, with my friends. We rode the subway. And we Arrived at pm12. We first rode commet express. We rode twice! It was funny. And we ate dinner, we rode Viking. It was scared. And we go to ghost house. It was very very scared.After than I cried.And we rode Teacup. I died for so feel dizzy..And we watch Halloween parade.it was so fantastic. And we road wild vally,wild wing and fiy venture,too. And go to the home at pm 8;30. IT was so fun,I want to go my friends again.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jenny! ^_^ Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful experience with your friends. ^^ I sure hope you get to hang out with them again~ ^^
~T.Harmony

Monday i went to the amusement park, with my friends.
>> My friends and I went to an amusement park last Monday.
We rode the subway.
>> CORRECT!
And we Arrived at pm12.
>> We arrived at our destination at 12 noon.
We first rode commet express.
>> We first rode the Comet Express. 
We rode twice! 
>> We actually went on that ride twice!
It was funny.
>> CORRECT!
And we ate dinner, we rode Viking.
>> We had dinner before getting on the Viking.
It was scared.
>> It was scary.
And we go to ghost house.
>> We then went to a ghost house.
It was very very scared.
>> It was very frightening.
After than I cried.
>> I cried after that.
And we rode Teacup.
>> We also rode the Teacup.
I died for so feel dizzy.
>> I could almost pass out from the nausea I felt.
And we watch Halloween parade.
>> We watched a Halloween parade together.
It was so fantastic. 
>> CORRECT!
And we road wild vally,wild wing and fiy venture,too.
>> We rode the Wild Valley, Wild Wing and Fly Venture as well.
And go to the home at pm 8;30.
>> We decided to go home at 8:30PM.
IT was so fun, I want to go my friends again.
>> We had a lot of fun, and I hope to return to that amusement park with my friends.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124949 I disagree that Many customs and traditional ways of behavior... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 592
124948 my favorite traveling transportation. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 721
124947 What does a healthy diet look like to you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 694
124946 How does your heart feel right now? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124945 Do you think you are strong enough to attend the same church on... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124944 Sharing my problem. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 881
124943 What will you do if you knew that the bassist is dating someone? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124942 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 0
124941 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 521
124940 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 461
124939 Why cash is still important ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 0
124938 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 449
124937 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124936 \"No matter how small the dishonest deed is, at the end of the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 4
124935 Describe your best friend. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 446
124934 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124933 Exercise is important! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 591
124932 What are the good and bad things about dating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 603
124931 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 0
124930 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 917

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04