¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Jennny\'s English composition

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿ì*¼±
2022-10-04 2248

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Monday i went to the amusement park, with my friends. We rode the subway. And we Arrived at pm12. We first rode commet express. We rode twice! It was funny. And we ate dinner, we rode Viking. It was scared. And we go to ghost house. It was very very scared.After than I cried.And we rode Teacup. I died for so feel dizzy..And we watch Halloween parade.it was so fantastic. And we road wild vally,wild wing and fiy venture,too. And go to the home at pm 8;30. IT was so fun,I want to go my friends again.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jenny! ^_^ Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful experience with your friends. ^^ I sure hope you get to hang out with them again~ ^^
~T.Harmony

Monday i went to the amusement park, with my friends.
>> My friends and I went to an amusement park last Monday.
We rode the subway.
>> CORRECT!
And we Arrived at pm12.
>> We arrived at our destination at 12 noon.
We first rode commet express.
>> We first rode the Comet Express. 
We rode twice! 
>> We actually went on that ride twice!
It was funny.
>> CORRECT!
And we ate dinner, we rode Viking.
>> We had dinner before getting on the Viking.
It was scared.
>> It was scary.
And we go to ghost house.
>> We then went to a ghost house.
It was very very scared.
>> It was very frightening.
After than I cried.
>> I cried after that.
And we rode Teacup.
>> We also rode the Teacup.
I died for so feel dizzy.
>> I could almost pass out from the nausea I felt.
And we watch Halloween parade.
>> We watched a Halloween parade together.
It was so fantastic. 
>> CORRECT!
And we road wild vally,wild wing and fiy venture,too.
>> We rode the Wild Valley, Wild Wing and Fly Venture as well.
And go to the home at pm 8;30.
>> We decided to go home at 8:30PM.
IT was so fun, I want to go my friends again.
>> We had a lot of fun, and I hope to return to that amusement park with my friends.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128164 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128163 What was the best gift that you received on your birthday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1381
128162 The most enviable thing about rich people is they can make a lot... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 2
128161 When was the last time you had difficulty beating your deadline?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128160 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 855
128159 An animal that I want to be ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1349
128158 If you could change any one of your physical characteristics,... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1359
128157 Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job? Do... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1365
128156 ¡°accidentally on purpose¡± ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1241
128155 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128154 Do you want to help poor children? How? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128153 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 0
128152 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128151 Write down answer about \\\\The first impression\\\\ ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 6
128150 What places in your country would you recommend for foreign... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1357
128149 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 978
128148 Homeschooling ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1029
128147 \"The price of greatness is responsibility.\" ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 922
128146 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1206
128145 women ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 877

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04