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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is your opinion about the exposure of children on television for content? Do you agree that the

작성자: 황*하
2022-10-04 2748

회원님의 영작문

There are a lot of programs that children appear on TV from new born babies to teenagers. Most of them were filmed without their permission. It is usually parent's decision. Many people would like to be a celebrity and being a star is a ultimate goal for children and parents as well. It can be a chance to be famous, if children appear on TV and then, they might have another chance to be a celeberity. I believe that children are on a way to construct their thought. There will be certain infulence on positive and negative way from the media appearance. They might hurt from unknown viewers, even thought they don't commit any negative things. We can easily see numerous negative comments on news and various media contents. I don't understand why people put those comments. To prevent children from those attack, parents should not send their children to broadcating company. I don't think that people feel happy, if they become famous.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

There are a lot of programs that children appear on TV from new born babies to teenagers. 
>> CORRECT! 
Most of them were filmed without their permission. 
>> CORRECT! 
It is usually parent's decision. 
>> CORRECT! 
Many people would like to be a celebrity and being a star is a ultimate goal for children and parents as well. 
>> Many people would like to be a celebrity and being a star is an ultimate goal for children and parents as well. 
It can be a chance to be famous, if children appear on TV and then, they might have another chance to be a celeberity. 
>> CORRECT! 
I believe that children are on a way to construct their thought. 
>> CORRECT! 
There will be certain infulence on positive and negative way from the media appearance. 
>> CORRECT! 
They might hurt from unknown viewers, even thought they don't commit any negative things. 
>> They might be emotionally hurt from unknown viewers, even though they haven't committed any negative things. 
We can easily see numerous negative comments on news and various media contents. 
>> CORRECT! 
I don't understand why people put those comments. 
>> CORRECT! 
To prevent children from those attack, parents should not send their children to broadcating company. 
>> To prevent children from those attacks, parents should not send their children to broadcasting companies. 
I don't think that people feel happy, if they become famous.
>> CORRECT! 

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