¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/3

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-03 2629

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have lived in Seoul since I was born.
I like Seoul very much and I want to stay for good in Seoul.
Actually, I enjoy traveling around the world.
It's so exciting to learn about other cultures and share local food.
However, when staying in other country for several days, I miss Seoul life, Korean food, and Korean environement.
Sometimes, experiencing new cultures give me inspiration, but familiarity is the best thing to give me comfort and cozy.
My family and friends live in Seoul, so I'm not lonely in Seoul.
Because I'm accustomed to Seoul's direction, I could find anything and enjoy many things.
Since I'm good at Korean, I have no problem in communicating with other people and easily get help from other people.
For these reasons, I'm planning to live in Seoul after I retire.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Stella!

Seoul is the place to be! It seems like everything that you are looking for a place to stay are already available in your city. Then, be it Seoul.

Your composition has so many supporting details to explain your choice. Apparently, you can go on and on with your list. Also, your comparison of travel to anothe country makes your answer even well established that there is no place like your home, Seoul.

Thus, try to go over the grammar suggestions on a few of your sentences and study them carefully. Thank you for your consistent hard work and effort in writing! You are gettn better each time. Way to go!

-T. Donna~
I have lived in Seoul since I was born.
>> Correct!

I like Seoul very much and I want to stay for good in Seoul.
>> Correct!

Actually, I enjoy traveling around the world.
>> Correct!

It's so exciting to learn about other cultures and share local food.
>> Correct!

However, when staying in other country for several days, I miss Seoul life, Korean food, and Korean environement.
>> However, when staying in another country for several days, I miss Seoul life; Korean food and the Korean environement.

Sometimes, experiencing new cultures give me inspiration, but familiarity is the best thing to give me comfort and cozy.
>> Sometimes, experiencing new cultures give me inspiration, but familiarity is the best thing to give me comfort and coziness.

My family and friends live in Seoul, so I'm not lonely in Seoul.
>> Correct!

Because I'm accustomed to Seoul's direction, I could find anything and enjoy many things.
>> Correct!

Since I'm good at Korean, I have no problem in communicating with other people and easily get help from other people.
>> Correct!
Or: Since I'm good at Korean, I have no problem in communicating with other people and I could easily get help from other people.

For these reasons, I'm planning to live in Seoul after I retire.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129000 I would recommend Korea to foreigners. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1396
128999 Diary 06.22. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 0
128998 When I embarrassed,.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1092
128997 21.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 2
128996 What activities do you enjoy doing during the summer season? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1571
128995 What is your favorite breakfast? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 0
128994 nepew\'s 1st birthday party ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1241
128993 Will the development of artificial intelligence harm or benefit... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1
128992 What do you consider your key strength? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1
128991 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 2235
128990 While some cultures focus on mourning the loss of a loved one,... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1
128989 If you were selling ready-to-eat food, how would you convince... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 7
128988 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 0
128987 homework 06.21 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 986
128986 What are the advantages and disdvantages of television? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1526
128985 Snacks!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1871
128984 The most boring movie is that I can\'t imagine. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 951
128983 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1349
128982 What do you like most about studying English? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 0
128981 What is your favorite hobby and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1997

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04