¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/3

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-03 2444

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have lived in Seoul since I was born.
I like Seoul very much and I want to stay for good in Seoul.
Actually, I enjoy traveling around the world.
It's so exciting to learn about other cultures and share local food.
However, when staying in other country for several days, I miss Seoul life, Korean food, and Korean environement.
Sometimes, experiencing new cultures give me inspiration, but familiarity is the best thing to give me comfort and cozy.
My family and friends live in Seoul, so I'm not lonely in Seoul.
Because I'm accustomed to Seoul's direction, I could find anything and enjoy many things.
Since I'm good at Korean, I have no problem in communicating with other people and easily get help from other people.
For these reasons, I'm planning to live in Seoul after I retire.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Stella!

Seoul is the place to be! It seems like everything that you are looking for a place to stay are already available in your city. Then, be it Seoul.

Your composition has so many supporting details to explain your choice. Apparently, you can go on and on with your list. Also, your comparison of travel to anothe country makes your answer even well established that there is no place like your home, Seoul.

Thus, try to go over the grammar suggestions on a few of your sentences and study them carefully. Thank you for your consistent hard work and effort in writing! You are gettn better each time. Way to go!

-T. Donna~
I have lived in Seoul since I was born.
>> Correct!

I like Seoul very much and I want to stay for good in Seoul.
>> Correct!

Actually, I enjoy traveling around the world.
>> Correct!

It's so exciting to learn about other cultures and share local food.
>> Correct!

However, when staying in other country for several days, I miss Seoul life, Korean food, and Korean environement.
>> However, when staying in another country for several days, I miss Seoul life; Korean food and the Korean environement.

Sometimes, experiencing new cultures give me inspiration, but familiarity is the best thing to give me comfort and cozy.
>> Sometimes, experiencing new cultures give me inspiration, but familiarity is the best thing to give me comfort and coziness.

My family and friends live in Seoul, so I'm not lonely in Seoul.
>> Correct!

Because I'm accustomed to Seoul's direction, I could find anything and enjoy many things.
>> Correct!

Since I'm good at Korean, I have no problem in communicating with other people and easily get help from other people.
>> Correct!
Or: Since I'm good at Korean, I have no problem in communicating with other people and I could easily get help from other people.

For these reasons, I'm planning to live in Seoul after I retire.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119504 What was the most interesting thing you did during a holiday? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 128
119503 How important are clocks for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 108
119502 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 87
119501 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 94
119500 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 4
119499 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 1
119498 My frineds ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 4
119497 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 3
119496 What do you think about working four days a week? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 122
119495 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 88
119494 What\'s your ideal fitness program? / What do you want to... ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 120
119493 What are the labor laws that had changed in your country? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 141
119492 Do you usually plan your weekends? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 153
119491 Do you easily trust people you barely know? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 146
119490 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 117
119489 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 75
119488 Describe the transportation system in your place. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 1
119487 What is one food you can\'t live without? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 123
119486 What is one thing you will never change about yourself?/... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 142
119485 5/31 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 120

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04