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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-09-29 2593

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your day?
I was so busy as usual, and now it is almost finished.
Although I started a diet a few days ago, I feel that it was a long time ago.
Because a hard time always passed so slowly.
I am starving, and I want to eat a delicious chicken.
You know what?
There are many kinds of chicken in Korea, and most of them are very delicious.
I think the Korean chicken is the best in the world.
Anyway, it's time to do my homework.
When I was thinking about a memorable advertisement, something came to mind immediately.
It's a TV advertisement about an ice cream that was shaped as cylinder.
it's name is "Screw Bar".
There were a man who seemed to be an Arabian, and he played thin pipe with funny face.
I am not sure I remember exactly.
One more thing, I reminded a chocopie advertisement.
It's a warm story that someone gave chocopie to others who went through a hard time.
Now I realize I am interested in foods, once again.
What is your memorable AD?
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, good evening, Dr. Kim!

I hope that you can hold on to your diet and make it just an ordinary routine. After all, health is the best wealth we can possess. Most of my students right now are into diet. Maybe the autumn season is the time to diet. ^^ Anyway, this is my problem too because I love flavorful food such as a creamy pasta, herbed and spiced meat, and some nice dessert. Not to mentione appetizers like a variety of cheese, freshly cut sashimi, nuts, pickles, among many other food at the buffet table. They say that it is alright to eat what you want as long as you exercise right after. Sometimes, time is not enough to stretch and lose those calories.

Commercials or advertisements are made to introduce a new product in the market. Since the purpose is to sell these products in the market, they compete for out attention. Thus, there are a lot of gimmicks, strategies, and styles for a commercial to be memorable and eventually take over the market. So, thanks for sharing the ice cream and Choco Pie commercial below. I am sure you watched them since your daughters must love to have these. Everybody loves ice cream and some choco products every now and then.

A memorable commercial I reckon now is a poor guy opening a pack of cookie. As he ate one piece, he was wispering a wish saying, "I wish I have a red Ferrari." An old woman passed by and asked for some cookie and the poor guy split his cookie into half to give it to the old lady. When the old lady bit the cookie, she transformed into a beautiful fairy who grants wishes. Since she heard the poor man wanting to have a red Ferrari, she made his wish come true... only that the car was also cut into half, since the poor guy gave the old lady half of the cookie.^^

Excellent job on your exposition for this composition! You got majority of the sentences correctly and your ideas flowed very smoothly. Outstanding job!

Catch you!

-T. Donna~
Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I was so busy as usual, and now it is almost finished.
>> Correct!

Although I started a diet a few days ago, I feel that it was a long time ago.
>> Correct!

Because a hard time always passed so slowly.
>> Maybe it is because a hard time passes by so slowly.

I am starving, and I want to eat a delicious chicken.
>> Correct!

You know what?
>> Correct!

There are many kinds of chicken in Korea, and most of them are very delicious.
>> Correct!

I think the Korean chicken is the best in the world.
>> Correct!

Anyway, it's time to do my homework.
>> Correct!

When I was thinking about a memorable advertisement, something came to mind immediately. 
>> Correct!

It's a TV advertisement about an ice cream that was shaped as cylinder.
>> Correct!

it's name is "Screw Bar".
>> Correct!
Or: It's name is "Screw Bar".

There were a man who seemed to be an Arabian, and he played thin pipe with funny face.
>> There was a man who seemed to be an Arabian, and he played a thin pipe with a funny face.

I am not sure I remember exactly.
>> Correct!
Or: I am not sure if I remember it exactly.

One more thing, I reminded a chocopie advertisement.
>> One more thing, I am reminded of a Choco Pie advertisement.

It's a warm story that someone gave chocopie to others who went through a hard time.
>> Correct!
 
Now I realize I am interested in foods, once again.
>> Correc!

What is your memorable AD?
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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