¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How has your health changed when you were younger compared to now? What were your eating habits then

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-29 1266

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to. But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older. Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elic, thank you for doing your best in this homework! Your sentences were very nice. I am happy that your punctuations and capitalizations are now correct. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to.
>> When I was little, I was a picky eater, I ate only what I want.
But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older.
>> But not anymore, as I got older, I had a hard time digesting food.
Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)
>> I also don't really get fast food at midnight.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123315 Healthy ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2080
123314 what is the most memorable celebration? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 3
123313 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123312 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 14
123311 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1737
123310 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1745
123309 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2039
123308 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1670
123307 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2
123306 Do you think the weather affects how we feel? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1576
123305 Name some of the tourist attractions in your city. Tell me more... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1953
123304 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123303 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123302 What factors may result in the breakdown of a good friendship? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1152
123301 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1387
123300 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1
123299 Decision ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1
123298 . ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1141
123297 What type of painting do you do? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1290
123296 10.28.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04