¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How has your health changed when you were younger compared to now? What were your eating habits then

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-29 1582

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to. But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older. Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elic, thank you for doing your best in this homework! Your sentences were very nice. I am happy that your punctuations and capitalizations are now correct. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to.
>> When I was little, I was a picky eater, I ate only what I want.
But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older.
>> But not anymore, as I got older, I had a hard time digesting food.
Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)
>> I also don't really get fast food at midnight.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126470 Hw ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 737
126469 homework 03.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 776
126468 homework Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 817
126467 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 891
126466 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 0
126465 Homework ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 789
126464 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 4
126463 How do you manage tasks and timelines with different levels of... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 2
126462 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 0
126461 How should one handle unexpected activities at work? Answer in a... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 1
126460 What are the first few adjustments that North and South Korea... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 2
126459 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 3
126458 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 1
126457 1. ..... is it from Dublin to Barcelona? A. How far B. How long... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 0
126456 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 840
126455 It is often said that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 830
126454 3/10 ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 0
126453 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 0
126452 My childhood ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 2
126451 The laughing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04