¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How has your health changed when you were younger compared to now? What were your eating habits then

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-29 1595

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to. But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older. Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elic, thank you for doing your best in this homework! Your sentences were very nice. I am happy that your punctuations and capitalizations are now correct. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to.
>> When I was little, I was a picky eater, I ate only what I want.
But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older.
>> But not anymore, as I got older, I had a hard time digesting food.
Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)
>> I also don't really get fast food at midnight.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126586 How important are first impressions to you? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 5
126585 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 4
126584 3/14 ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 0
126583 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 1250
126582 My homeworks ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 1
126581 I want to go U.S.A ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 2
126580 Looking after my health ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 2
126579 my room is the best gift À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 1263
126578 In your opinion, what is the most serious dental problem? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 1
126577 What to do in the morning ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 1013
126576 Waiting teaches us to be proud. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 802
126575 Dangerous thing i¡¯ve do Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126574 HW_03/15/23 ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 715
126573 my english lesson À±*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1042
126572 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1066
126571 homework 03.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 850
126570 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1059
126569 3/15th homework ¼®*°á ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 3
126568 H.w P.22 ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 800
126567 H.w ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 983

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04