¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How has your health changed when you were younger compared to now? What were your eating habits then

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-29 1264

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to. But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older. Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elic, thank you for doing your best in this homework! Your sentences were very nice. I am happy that your punctuations and capitalizations are now correct. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to.
>> When I was little, I was a picky eater, I ate only what I want.
But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older.
>> But not anymore, as I got older, I had a hard time digesting food.
Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)
>> I also don't really get fast food at midnight.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122252 What nonverbal action is offensive to you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122251 How did you meet your best friend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122250 Some artworks can cause a fortune. Do you think the value of... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122249 Making Kimchichigae Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122248 9/7 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1615
122247 How would you describe a healthy diet? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1504
122246 Home ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1838
122245 People often say: ¡°It¡¯s easy to tell when politicians lie -... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1692
122244 9/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1774
122243 What¡¯s the latest thing you¡¯ve had an interest in? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1153
122242 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1150
122241 Do you think there are aliens somewhere in the universe? What do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1039
122240 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1232
122239 Cheating Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122238 How can you tell if a person is confident? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1071
122237 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 986
122236 My unforgettable festival experience ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1317
122235 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2071
122234 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 0
122233 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04