¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/28 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-29 1456

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I often enjoy watching movies, especially romatic comedy or human drama.
It gives me refreshed when I am exhausted, and I simply enjoy it not to think deeply.
I also like watching musical movies.
They are plenty of wonderful music, and lead to intrinisic interest from my mind.
The best musical movie that I watched recently is 'Lala land'.
The scene of LA in the movie was so beautiful, and OST was so good to listen repeatedly.
OTT services are rapidly developed, so I could easily watch movies anytime anywhere.
It's very convenient to select movies that I want and watch movies lying on the sofa and eating cookies.
Watching movie is one of the best hobby spending time and it enables people to experience indrectly.
I think thanks to OTT services, anyone could enjoy a good interests with ease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, good day, Dr. Stella!

Rom-com or romantic comedies can be one of the best escapes since they are very fun and light to watch. They do not demand critical analysis or a roller coaster ride of emotion like thrillers. Choosing a genre always depends on one's characteristics. I must say, you have a good taste for movies. ^^

Anyway, your homework answer was substantial, contains sentence combinations, have a few grammar suggestions, and has your distinct writing style. Your transition is impeccable and your flow of thought is as smooth as a river's. Kindl go through my suggestions below.

Keep up the excellent skill in writing always!

-T. Donna~

I often enjoy watching movies, especially romatic comedy or human drama.
>> Correct!

It gives me refreshed when I am exhausted, and I simply enjoy it not to think deeply.
>> It gives me refreshed feeling when I am exhausted, and I simply enjoy it not to think deeply.

I also like watching musical movies.
>> Correct!

They are plenty of wonderful music, and lead to intrinisic interest from my mind.
>> They are plenty of wonderful music and they lead to intrinisic interest in my mind.

The best musical movie that I watched recently is 'Lala land'.
>> Correct!

The scene of LA in the movie was so beautiful, and OST was so good to listen repeatedly.
>> Correct!

OTT services are rapidly developed, so I could easily watch movies anytime anywhere.
>> Correct!

It's very convenient to select movies that I want and watch movies lying on the sofa and eating cookies.
>> Correct!
Or: It's very convenient to select movies that I want and watch them lying on the sofa while eating cookies.

Watching movie is one of the best hobby spending time and it enables people to experience indrectly.
>> Watching movies is one of the best hobbies to spend time and it enables people to experience indrectly.

I think thanks to OTT services, anyone could enjoy a good interests with ease.
>> I think, thanks to OTT services, anyone could enjoy this good interest with ease.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119446 How can loneliness be bad for people¡¯s health? How can lonely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 102
119445 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 168
119444 What kind of diet have you tried? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119443 Do you think vaccines are important and effective? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119442 What was the best suggestion you have ever received from someone? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 168
119441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 204
119440 about buying things ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119439 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 4
119438 Do you think everyone should have a holiday from school or work... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 147
119437 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 252
119436 How much time ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 3
119435 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119434 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119433 What is the meaning of \"give and take\"? what does this mean to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 225
119432 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 618
119431 What festivals or celebrations does your country have during the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119430 What are the pros and cons of eating out? ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 173
119429 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119428 How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 0
119427 What are the possible causes for having a vice? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 214

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04