¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/28 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-29 1308

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I often enjoy watching movies, especially romatic comedy or human drama.
It gives me refreshed when I am exhausted, and I simply enjoy it not to think deeply.
I also like watching musical movies.
They are plenty of wonderful music, and lead to intrinisic interest from my mind.
The best musical movie that I watched recently is 'Lala land'.
The scene of LA in the movie was so beautiful, and OST was so good to listen repeatedly.
OTT services are rapidly developed, so I could easily watch movies anytime anywhere.
It's very convenient to select movies that I want and watch movies lying on the sofa and eating cookies.
Watching movie is one of the best hobby spending time and it enables people to experience indrectly.
I think thanks to OTT services, anyone could enjoy a good interests with ease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, good day, Dr. Stella!

Rom-com or romantic comedies can be one of the best escapes since they are very fun and light to watch. They do not demand critical analysis or a roller coaster ride of emotion like thrillers. Choosing a genre always depends on one's characteristics. I must say, you have a good taste for movies. ^^

Anyway, your homework answer was substantial, contains sentence combinations, have a few grammar suggestions, and has your distinct writing style. Your transition is impeccable and your flow of thought is as smooth as a river's. Kindl go through my suggestions below.

Keep up the excellent skill in writing always!

-T. Donna~

I often enjoy watching movies, especially romatic comedy or human drama.
>> Correct!

It gives me refreshed when I am exhausted, and I simply enjoy it not to think deeply.
>> It gives me refreshed feeling when I am exhausted, and I simply enjoy it not to think deeply.

I also like watching musical movies.
>> Correct!

They are plenty of wonderful music, and lead to intrinisic interest from my mind.
>> They are plenty of wonderful music and they lead to intrinisic interest in my mind.

The best musical movie that I watched recently is 'Lala land'.
>> Correct!

The scene of LA in the movie was so beautiful, and OST was so good to listen repeatedly.
>> Correct!

OTT services are rapidly developed, so I could easily watch movies anytime anywhere.
>> Correct!

It's very convenient to select movies that I want and watch movies lying on the sofa and eating cookies.
>> Correct!
Or: It's very convenient to select movies that I want and watch them lying on the sofa while eating cookies.

Watching movie is one of the best hobby spending time and it enables people to experience indrectly.
>> Watching movies is one of the best hobbies to spend time and it enables people to experience indrectly.

I think thanks to OTT services, anyone could enjoy a good interests with ease.
>> I think, thanks to OTT services, anyone could enjoy this good interest with ease.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120470 Who influenced you the most in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1045
120469 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 524
120468 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 445
120467 Who in your family or among your friends has the most... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 199
120466 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 448
120465 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 191
120464 How much time do you spend listening to music? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 225
120463 7/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 241
120462 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 229
120461 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120460 What new hobbies would you like to try? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 255
120459 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120458 If a woman wants an abortion, what rights does the father have? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 667
120457 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 440
120456 Homework for 07.05.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 3
120455 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2639
120454 Are older people actually wiser? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 523
120453 My favorite day ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1069
120452 My biggest challenge this year ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2250
120451 culture that i want to bring back to South Korea ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 625

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04