¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-09-27 3557

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

My friends also spend more time away from her home because her workplace is far from her home.
She has to spend 3 hours on the road every week day.
She wakes up 6 AM and comes back home at 8PM normally.
She stays at home only 10 hours a day.( when I think of her sleeping time, she stays at home just few hours)
In korea overtime working is prohibited by labor law therefore, people spend times for themselves after work.
In my case ,
I like staying and having a good time at home.
When my friends want to have a dinner with me, I used to invite them to my place instead of going out.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! How's your afternoon going? Anyway, I feel so exhausted that I didn't actually do a lot of things! Hahaha! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
My friends also spend more time away from her home because her workplace is far from her home.
>>>CORRECT
She has to spend 3 hours on the road every week day.
>>>CORRECT
OR>>> She has to spend 3 hours on the road on week days.
She wakes up at 6 AM and comes back home at 8PM normally.
>>>CORRECT
She stays at home only 10 hours a day.( when I think of her sleeping time, she stays at home just few hours)
>>>She stays at home for only 10 hours a day.( when I think of her sleeping time, she stays at home for just few hours.)
In korea overtime working is prohibited by labor law therefore, people spend times for themselves after work.
>>> In Koreaworking overtime is prohibited by the labor law therefore, people spend a time for themselves after work.
In my case, I like staying and having a good time at home.
>>>CORRECT
When my friends want to have a dinner with me, I used to invite them to my place instead of going out.
>>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123086 Make sentences with given words ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1515
123085 How would you help someone to get over their fear? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1789
123084 disappointed. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1
123083 What do you think about foreign language learning as a hobby?... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 3274
123082 Have you ever worked for a company that has implemented any... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2907
123081 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2218
123080 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1
123079 Do you prefer your own country\'s food or other kinds of food? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 4151
123078 timid ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1754
123077 What is a bottle made of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1
123076 10/18 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2222
123075 What makes a happy marriage? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1940
123074 What is a very special place you have seen before and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 0
123073 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2034
123072 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 0
123071 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1037
123070 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123069 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2
123068 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1909
123067 What is the worst disaster in your opinion? Share your answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1942

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04