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Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-09-27 3622

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

My friends also spend more time away from her home because her workplace is far from her home.
She has to spend 3 hours on the road every week day.
She wakes up 6 AM and comes back home at 8PM normally.
She stays at home only 10 hours a day.( when I think of her sleeping time, she stays at home just few hours)
In korea overtime working is prohibited by labor law therefore, people spend times for themselves after work.
In my case ,
I like staying and having a good time at home.
When my friends want to have a dinner with me, I used to invite them to my place instead of going out.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! How's your afternoon going? Anyway, I feel so exhausted that I didn't actually do a lot of things! Hahaha! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
My friends also spend more time away from her home because her workplace is far from her home.
>>>CORRECT
She has to spend 3 hours on the road every week day.
>>>CORRECT
OR>>> She has to spend 3 hours on the road on week days.
She wakes up at 6 AM and comes back home at 8PM normally.
>>>CORRECT
She stays at home only 10 hours a day.( when I think of her sleeping time, she stays at home just few hours)
>>>She stays at home for only 10 hours a day.( when I think of her sleeping time, she stays at home for just few hours.)
In korea overtime working is prohibited by labor law therefore, people spend times for themselves after work.
>>> In Koreaworking overtime is prohibited by the labor law therefore, people spend a time for themselves after work.
In my case, I like staying and having a good time at home.
>>>CORRECT
When my friends want to have a dinner with me, I used to invite them to my place instead of going out.
>>>CORRECT
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