¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-09-24 1335

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Happy day, T. Donna.
As you know, I am working now.
Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
Now I am doing my homework.
It's about an appearance.
Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
How about you?
Are you satisfied with your appearance?
Does your child take after you?
Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

It's a great joy to hear that your clinic is at peace for a couple of weeks now. I am sure that your staff have already learned their lessons and shall keep it this way. Now, you can focus even more with your tasks at hand.

Without people wanting to improve their appearance, I guess your clinic would not exist. This is one of our rights, our preference to look the way we want. To answer your question, I'm quite the same as you. I am happy with the way I look like. Sometimes I wish I was taller or fairer in skin complexion, however, I have never done much to achieve these aside from wearing high heels to appear taller. Moreover, as we grow older, losing weight is one big problem we need to contend with. 

I agree that you resemble your daughters much. They truly got your eyes! My son got my stare but overall, he looks like his father. Well, being satisfied of one's appearance is a gift.  However, looking great with the aid of technology means financial security and stability and the ability to keep up with trends and cheat age.

Your sentences are very clear, many are  correct, and your style is always something new. Keep up the excellent job by reading my suggestions and applying the rules on your next composition.

Have a great night!

-T. Donna~ 

Happy day, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

As you know, I am working now.
>> Correct!

Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
>> Because work time on Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.

Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
>> Every Saturday, our clinic closes at 2:30PM.

Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
>> Correct!

Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
>> Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma: contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on.

Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staff  these days.

They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
>> They do good to one another and don't argue or fight anymore.

I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
>> I think the most important factor of the business is the employees.

Now I am doing my homework.
>>Correct!

It's about an appearance.
>> It's about appearance.

Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
>> Although I am not handsome like an actor, actually, I am satisfied with my face.

Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
>> Because I'm getting older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now than before.

Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
>> Correct!

And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
>> And I think the eyes of my daughters resemble mine especially.

How about you?
>> Correct!

Are you satisfied with your appearance?
>> Correct!

Does your child take after you?
>> Correct!

Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.
>> Correct!
Or: 
Catch you next Monday.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122886 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 1572
122885 What do you like to do on the weekend? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3
122884 10/10 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 2144
122883 a À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 2568
122882 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 1
122881 10.07.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 1
122880 What is your favorite subject at school? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 0
122879 Two questions. ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3
122878 What kinds of advertisements don\'t you like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-09 2
122877 How could public transport in your city be improved? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-09 2
122876 Do you easily get affected by the bad mood of others? Answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-09 1298
122875 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 2255
122874 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 2010
122873 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 1943
122872 weekend ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2113
122871 When I have the blues¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1895
122870 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2
122869 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 0
122868 10/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2609
122867 What are your short-term and long-term goals? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1610

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04