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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-09-24 1573

회원님의 영작문

Happy day, T. Donna.
As you know, I am working now.
Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
Now I am doing my homework.
It's about an appearance.
Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
How about you?
Are you satisfied with your appearance?
Does your child take after you?
Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

It's a great joy to hear that your clinic is at peace for a couple of weeks now. I am sure that your staff have already learned their lessons and shall keep it this way. Now, you can focus even more with your tasks at hand.

Without people wanting to improve their appearance, I guess your clinic would not exist. This is one of our rights, our preference to look the way we want. To answer your question, I'm quite the same as you. I am happy with the way I look like. Sometimes I wish I was taller or fairer in skin complexion, however, I have never done much to achieve these aside from wearing high heels to appear taller. Moreover, as we grow older, losing weight is one big problem we need to contend with. 

I agree that you resemble your daughters much. They truly got your eyes! My son got my stare but overall, he looks like his father. Well, being satisfied of one's appearance is a gift.  However, looking great with the aid of technology means financial security and stability and the ability to keep up with trends and cheat age.

Your sentences are very clear, many are  correct, and your style is always something new. Keep up the excellent job by reading my suggestions and applying the rules on your next composition.

Have a great night!

-T. Donna~ 

Happy day, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

As you know, I am working now.
>> Correct!

Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
>> Because work time on Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.

Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
>> Every Saturday, our clinic closes at 2:30PM.

Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
>> Correct!

Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
>> Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma: contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on.

Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staff  these days.

They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
>> They do good to one another and don't argue or fight anymore.

I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
>> I think the most important factor of the business is the employees.

Now I am doing my homework.
>>Correct!

It's about an appearance.
>> It's about appearance.

Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
>> Although I am not handsome like an actor, actually, I am satisfied with my face.

Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
>> Because I'm getting older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now than before.

Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
>> Correct!

And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
>> And I think the eyes of my daughters resemble mine especially.

How about you?
>> Correct!

Are you satisfied with your appearance?
>> Correct!

Does your child take after you?
>> Correct!

Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.
>> Correct!
Or: Catch you next Monday.
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02
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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