¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-09-24 1699

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Happy day, T. Donna.
As you know, I am working now.
Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
Now I am doing my homework.
It's about an appearance.
Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
How about you?
Are you satisfied with your appearance?
Does your child take after you?
Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

It's a great joy to hear that your clinic is at peace for a couple of weeks now. I am sure that your staff have already learned their lessons and shall keep it this way. Now, you can focus even more with your tasks at hand.

Without people wanting to improve their appearance, I guess your clinic would not exist. This is one of our rights, our preference to look the way we want. To answer your question, I'm quite the same as you. I am happy with the way I look like. Sometimes I wish I was taller or fairer in skin complexion, however, I have never done much to achieve these aside from wearing high heels to appear taller. Moreover, as we grow older, losing weight is one big problem we need to contend with. 

I agree that you resemble your daughters much. They truly got your eyes! My son got my stare but overall, he looks like his father. Well, being satisfied of one's appearance is a gift.  However, looking great with the aid of technology means financial security and stability and the ability to keep up with trends and cheat age.

Your sentences are very clear, many are  correct, and your style is always something new. Keep up the excellent job by reading my suggestions and applying the rules on your next composition.

Have a great night!

-T. Donna~ 

Happy day, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

As you know, I am working now.
>> Correct!

Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
>> Because work time on Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.

Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
>> Every Saturday, our clinic closes at 2:30PM.

Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
>> Correct!

Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
>> Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma: contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on.

Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staff  these days.

They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
>> They do good to one another and don't argue or fight anymore.

I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
>> I think the most important factor of the business is the employees.

Now I am doing my homework.
>>Correct!

It's about an appearance.
>> It's about appearance.

Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
>> Although I am not handsome like an actor, actually, I am satisfied with my face.

Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
>> Because I'm getting older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now than before.

Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
>> Correct!

And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
>> And I think the eyes of my daughters resemble mine especially.

How about you?
>> Correct!

Are you satisfied with your appearance?
>> Correct!

Does your child take after you?
>> Correct!

Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.
>> Correct!
Or: 
Catch you next Monday.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128504 Do you like walking barefoot? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1340
128503 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1488
128502 23.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 2
128501 Living in a new country would be a big change for anybody. What... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1544
128500 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 3106
128499 Aside from transportation, what other infrastructure are proud... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1383
128498 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1275
128497 What kind of sports do you enjoy? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1
128496 What is the importance of teamwork? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-28 1
128495 How do you maintain a good relationship with colleagues? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1
128494 Describe your first trip abroad ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1993
128493 People say conversation is an art. Do you think so? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-27 1
128492 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1839
128491 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1423
128490 homework 05.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1618
128489 Love is very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1148
128488 The language I want to learn ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1804
128487 What do you like doing at the beach? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 2182
128486 What is you favorite mobile game to play? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1659
128485 homework:When do you prefer to have a family gathering? ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1290

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04