¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-09-24 1369

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Happy day, T. Donna.
As you know, I am working now.
Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
Now I am doing my homework.
It's about an appearance.
Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
How about you?
Are you satisfied with your appearance?
Does your child take after you?
Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

It's a great joy to hear that your clinic is at peace for a couple of weeks now. I am sure that your staff have already learned their lessons and shall keep it this way. Now, you can focus even more with your tasks at hand.

Without people wanting to improve their appearance, I guess your clinic would not exist. This is one of our rights, our preference to look the way we want. To answer your question, I'm quite the same as you. I am happy with the way I look like. Sometimes I wish I was taller or fairer in skin complexion, however, I have never done much to achieve these aside from wearing high heels to appear taller. Moreover, as we grow older, losing weight is one big problem we need to contend with. 

I agree that you resemble your daughters much. They truly got your eyes! My son got my stare but overall, he looks like his father. Well, being satisfied of one's appearance is a gift.  However, looking great with the aid of technology means financial security and stability and the ability to keep up with trends and cheat age.

Your sentences are very clear, many are  correct, and your style is always something new. Keep up the excellent job by reading my suggestions and applying the rules on your next composition.

Have a great night!

-T. Donna~ 

Happy day, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

As you know, I am working now.
>> Correct!

Because work time in Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.
>> Because work time on Saturday is short, I can enjoy working.

Every Saturday, our clinic close 2:30PM.
>> Every Saturday, our clinic closes at 2:30PM.

Today, there were many kinds of patients in my clinic.
>> Correct!

Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma; contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on...
>> Some of them wanted to improve their appearance, and others had skin disease or trauma: contact dermatitis, atopy, verruca, abrasion, burn and so on.

Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staffs these days.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, I am very satisfied with my staff  these days.

They do a good to one another, don't argue or fight anymore.
>> They do good to one another and don't argue or fight anymore.

I think the most important factor of the business is employee.
>> I think the most important factor of the business is the employees.

Now I am doing my homework.
>>Correct!

It's about an appearance.
>> It's about appearance.

Though I am not handsome like an actor, Actually, I am satisfied with my face.
>> Although I am not handsome like an actor, actually, I am satisfied with my face.

Because I got older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now and before.
>> Because I'm getting older, my upper eyelid is sagging down, but I like my eyes now than before.

Many people told me that my daughters take after me.
>> Correct!

And I think eyes of daughters resemble mine especially.
>> And I think the eyes of my daughters resemble mine especially.

How about you?
>> Correct!

Are you satisfied with your appearance?
>> Correct!

Does your child take after you?
>> Correct!

Have a blast! Catch you Next Monday.
>> Correct!
Or: 
Catch you next Monday.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121975 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121974 If you could learn more about another sport just like archery,... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 498
121973 Does education guarantee a good job? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 713
121972 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 0
121971 How do you know when something is non-living? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 5
121970 The advice I wanted. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1133
121969 What do you think of having tattoos? Please explain your side. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1089
121968 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 783
121967 My pet ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121966 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3
121965 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121964 The old people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121963 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 645
121962 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121961 Have you ever suffered from eating disorders? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121960 What\'s the most miserable you\'ve been? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 927
121959 Taxis ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 582
121958 8/29 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2798
121957 What are the harmful and beneficial effects of advertising? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1140
121956 If you\'re a movie actor, would you rather be the hero that... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 875

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04