¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-23 1647

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is your most unforgettable experience at work? What happened? Why is it unforgettable for you? Tell something about it using 3 to 4 short paragraphs.

1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down. I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.

Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred. And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'

After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident. As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.

I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jason. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down.
>> 1 month after joining the company I worked for, I accidentally heard some noise during my work hour, and then the electricity shut down.
I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.
>> I thought something has fallen on our container house so I went our and left my work documents behind.
Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred.
>> Then I saw that many employees of Lotte Chemical were running to one place because there were fire and smoke everywhere.
And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'
>> Suddenly, the announcement said that all remaining people should stop what they were doing and they should gather on the front gate.
After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident.
>> Correct.
As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.
>> As soon as turned on the main 154kV line, which has a very high voltage so only advanced technicians can handle it, an outdoor transformer suddenly exploded.
I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster
>> From that experience, I learned that electricity never lies and never permits us to make mistakes, it can be a malfunction or a disaster.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123974 How do sports players show respect after a game? Are there any... ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1
123973 Which do you think is the best season for a vacation? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 953
123972 How does money make you happy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 924
123971 What time of day is best for exercising? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 0
123970 12/2 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 1079
123969 If you were an actress, what publicity do you want? Share your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 996
123968 Some new sports are called \'extreme sports\'. What are some... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 1021
123967 Ms.Lyn I told you I would like to write stories, not... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 951
123966 Good at my jobs ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 2
123965 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 909
123964 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 952
123963 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 935
123962 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 819
123961 Are you good at beating deadlines? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 3
123960 Apology and homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 994
123959 Research about what \'lactose intolerant\' is ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 757
123958 Complete the following sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 939
123957 Homework (12/2) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 4
123956 What offers or requests shouldn¡¯t you refuse? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 1126
123955 In your opinion, what habits should you have to have a... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1150

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04