¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-23 2060

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is your most unforgettable experience at work? What happened? Why is it unforgettable for you? Tell something about it using 3 to 4 short paragraphs.

1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down. I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.

Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred. And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'

After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident. As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.

I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jason. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down.
>> 1 month after joining the company I worked for, I accidentally heard some noise during my work hour, and then the electricity shut down.
I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.
>> I thought something has fallen on our container house so I went our and left my work documents behind.
Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred.
>> Then I saw that many employees of Lotte Chemical were running to one place because there were fire and smoke everywhere.
And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'
>> Suddenly, the announcement said that all remaining people should stop what they were doing and they should gather on the front gate.
After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident.
>> Correct.
As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.
>> As soon as turned on the main 154kV line, which has a very high voltage so only advanced technicians can handle it, an outdoor transformer suddenly exploded.
I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster
>> From that experience, I learned that electricity never lies and never permits us to make mistakes, it can be a malfunction or a disaster.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118242 Is laughter the best medicine? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 1
118241 The causes and solutions of students who work and study together. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 0
118240 How important is tourism to your country? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 1
118239 Are you good at handling your stress? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 1
118238 To what degree do our names shape our personality? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-14 140
118237 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 1
118236 Writing Task(Apr 12th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 108
118235 What is the most unusual excuse you can come up with for... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 141
118234 4/13 HOMEWORK... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 101
118233 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 117
118232 Interne ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 1
118231 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 1
118230 What do you do to keep your memory sharp? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 132
118229 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 116
118228 Talk about your best memory from a holiday. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 146
118227 Is there any kind of greeting that annoys you? ±è*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 4
118226 What do you think about canned, frozen, and processed food? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 126
118225 What is the most popular sport in your country? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 124
118224 What is the best thing about the Internet for you? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 1
118223 How would you like to spend your vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-13 132

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04