¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-23 2008

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is your most unforgettable experience at work? What happened? Why is it unforgettable for you? Tell something about it using 3 to 4 short paragraphs.

1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down. I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.

Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred. And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'

After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident. As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.

I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jason. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down.
>> 1 month after joining the company I worked for, I accidentally heard some noise during my work hour, and then the electricity shut down.
I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.
>> I thought something has fallen on our container house so I went our and left my work documents behind.
Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred.
>> Then I saw that many employees of Lotte Chemical were running to one place because there were fire and smoke everywhere.
And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'
>> Suddenly, the announcement said that all remaining people should stop what they were doing and they should gather on the front gate.
After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident.
>> Correct.
As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.
>> As soon as turned on the main 154kV line, which has a very high voltage so only advanced technicians can handle it, an outdoor transformer suddenly exploded.
I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster
>> From that experience, I learned that electricity never lies and never permits us to make mistakes, it can be a malfunction or a disaster.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118697 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 103
118696 Shoes È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 143
118695 2022.5.2 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 125
118694 What is traveling for you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118693 Look around your house and make two (sentences) using: 1. There... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 223
118692 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 3
118691 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 161
118690 5/2... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 100
118689 What can you say about the roles played by villains in any... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 125
118688 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 2
118687 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 0
118686 Why do you think people have pets? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 172
118685 Would you ever consider having your parents live with you when... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 137
118684 Last Friday Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 118
118683 What makes reading enjoyable for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 93
118682 My last adventure ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 122
118681 What is the best way to solve a problem about your neighbors? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 113
118680 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 92
118679 What annoys you about yourself? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 1
118678 Friend À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 132

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04