¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-09-23 1948

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
How about this way?
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

Have a nice weeken ^^

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again Ms. Eunice! I'm trying to imagine how would my motherhood be if I were to have a child. But, I'm excited to have one! My husband said he would give everything to our child to be which is opposite to what I'm thinking. You and I have the same mind. I wouldn't give anything if the child won't do his responsibilities too! I think a 3 or 4 year old toddler could already do simple help. ;) Have a great weekend too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
>>> CORRECT
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
>>> And I often find children crying and asking to buy toys or snacks at the market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
>>> It is a natural reaction that parents would complain to the companies but I think  parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
>>> CORRECT
How about this way?
>>> CORRECT
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

>>> Parents will permit  their children to buy things which they ask if their children will obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask them to do. ( THIS IS A GOOD IDEA! HAHAHA! )
Have a nice weekend ^^
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123057 10.18.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123056 selfishness ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1365
123055 10/18 ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1807
123054 What are clouds made of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123053 If you were a celebrity endorser, what product would you promote? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123052 10.17.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1
123051 Do you find it easy to explain your feelings to another person?... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 2031
123050 10/17 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1832
123049 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1792
123048 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 2
123047 make sentences using given words. ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 0
123046 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1771
123045 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1790
123044 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1354
123043 A noncancelable reservation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1
123042 homework ◡̈ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 0
123041 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 0
123040 Do you enjoy live music? Why or why not? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 2626
123039 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 2
123038 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04