¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-09-23 2062

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
How about this way?
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

Have a nice weeken ^^

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again Ms. Eunice! I'm trying to imagine how would my motherhood be if I were to have a child. But, I'm excited to have one! My husband said he would give everything to our child to be which is opposite to what I'm thinking. You and I have the same mind. I wouldn't give anything if the child won't do his responsibilities too! I think a 3 or 4 year old toddler could already do simple help. ;) Have a great weekend too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
>>> CORRECT
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
>>> And I often find children crying and asking to buy toys or snacks at the market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
>>> It is a natural reaction that parents would complain to the companies but I think  parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
>>> CORRECT
How about this way?
>>> CORRECT
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

>>> Parents will permit  their children to buy things which they ask if their children will obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask them to do. ( THIS IS A GOOD IDEA! HAHAHA! )
Have a nice weekend ^^
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124297 Where is the most amazing place you have been? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 2192
124296 Movie ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 5
124295 Describe my future self! ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 752
124294 animals ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 668
124293 Homework 12/20 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 14
124292 19.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124291 What are you studying these days? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 0
124290 I think so ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 816
124289 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124288 Can you tell me about something you regret? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1319
124287 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 731
124286 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 744
124285 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 2
124284 Gift-giving! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 642
124283 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 594
124282 What is the saddest movie, song, or story that you know? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 818
124281 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 587
124280 HOMEWORK: Do you think language affects thought? Discuss in 3 to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 4
124279 Homework (12/19) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1
124278 Should religions be exempt from paying taxes? Do you think it is... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 782

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04