¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-09-23 2344

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
How about this way?
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

Have a nice weeken ^^

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again Ms. Eunice! I'm trying to imagine how would my motherhood be if I were to have a child. But, I'm excited to have one! My husband said he would give everything to our child to be which is opposite to what I'm thinking. You and I have the same mind. I wouldn't give anything if the child won't do his responsibilities too! I think a 3 or 4 year old toddler could already do simple help. ;) Have a great weekend too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
>>> CORRECT
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
>>> And I often find children crying and asking to buy toys or snacks at the market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
>>> It is a natural reaction that parents would complain to the companies but I think  parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
>>> CORRECT
How about this way?
>>> CORRECT
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

>>> Parents will permit  their children to buy things which they ask if their children will obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask them to do. ( THIS IS A GOOD IDEA! HAHAHA! )
Have a nice weekend ^^
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117281 What do you do to avoid catching COVID-19? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 843
117280 Do you believe in aliens? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 825
117279 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 0
117278 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 1042
117277 2022.3.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-12 943
117276 If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Why? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 850
117275 3/11 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 197
117274 I think cooking is not an art Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 685
117273 Do you believe in aliens? Why or why not? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 252
117272 What is the most dangerous sport? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 431
117271 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117270 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 3
117269 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117268 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117267 What was you most unforgettable moment in your hometown? Why? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 632
117266 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 435
117265 What is your favorite place. Why? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 496
117264 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117263 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 0
117262 Have you ever eaten something that made you ill? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-11 956

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04