¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-09-23 1938

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
How about this way?
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

Have a nice weeken ^^

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again Ms. Eunice! I'm trying to imagine how would my motherhood be if I were to have a child. But, I'm excited to have one! My husband said he would give everything to our child to be which is opposite to what I'm thinking. You and I have the same mind. I wouldn't give anything if the child won't do his responsibilities too! I think a 3 or 4 year old toddler could already do simple help. ;) Have a great weekend too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I can see many advertisements for children's goods.
>>> CORRECT
And I oftenly find that children are crying for asking to buy toys or snacks at a market.
>>> And I often find children crying and asking to buy toys or snacks at the market.
It is a natural reaction that parents complain to the companies but I think that parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
>>> It is a natural reaction that parents would complain to the companies but I think  parents cannot claim that these ads are unfair.
In the sights of marketing, companies have to sell their products whether these are for children or adults.
>>> CORRECT
How about this way?
>>> CORRECT
Parents permit children to buy things which children ask if children obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask.

>>> Parents will permit  their children to buy things which they ask if their children will obey and accomplish the goal that parents ask them to do. ( THIS IS A GOOD IDEA! HAHAHA! )
Have a nice weekend ^^
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122227 Does your community have outdoor exercise equipment? Is it free... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1711
122226 Imagine you waited for 30 minutes already, but the food you... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 6
122225 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1660
122224 Can people change their personalities? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122223 Regret. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122222 How do you understand this expression: \"Mother knows best\"... ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122221 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122220 Do you wish to study there in Australia? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122219 What sport do you think is the most fun to do? Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1056
122218 Is sport an important part of education? What does it teach... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122217 Does the place you live have a low-stress environment? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122216 Would you rather go into the past or the future to meet someone... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 903
122215 What can we do to avoid depression? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 802
122214 09.06.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122213 9/6 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1371
122212 9/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2005
122211 Mars ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1496
122210 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1306
122209 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1497
122208 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 3439

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04