¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How would you maintain a good relationship with your family if you could only interact online?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-09-22 1035

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I go to other regions in our country, or overseas on business, I could interact with my family only online. Perhaps, I would keep in touch with my family members as much as possible whenever I have spare time to talk with them. However, I wouldn't use it to check whether my children are doing good at school or not, or whether my wife is taking care of mischievous children well or not because my children and my wife may be offended by my spending this limited time foolishly or meaninlessly. We should utilize this precious time to express our love for each other.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Steve!
(^___^)

It's long been taught by the book of love, but now scientists suggest that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, particularly when it comes to intimacy. Thus; constant communication is a must.

Online communication is often denigrated as a poor replacement of face-to-face time.
It¡¯s a digital world, and to ignore that would be foolish. The chief advantage of online communication is that both geography and time are relatively, if not completely, unimportant.

Thank you so much for this composition.
Have a good day!^^

__T. Mayleen :)


If I go to other regions in our country, or overseas on business, I could interact with my family only online.
>>> If I go to other regions in our country or overseas on business, I can interact with my family only online.
>>> OR: If I go for work to other parts of the county or abroad, I can only communicate with my family online.

Perhaps, I would keep in touch with my family members as much as possible whenever I have spare time to talk with them.
>>> Perhaps, I will keep in touch with my family members as much as possible whenever I have spare time to talk with them.

However, I wouldn't use it to check whether my children are doing good at school or not, or whether my wife is taking care of mischievous children well or not because my children and my wife may be offended by my spending this limited time foolishly or meaninlessly.
>>> However, I wouldn't use it to check whether my children are doing well at school or not, or whether my wife is taking care of our mischievous children well or not, because my children and my wife may be offended by my spending this limited time foolishly or meaninglessly.
>>> OR: However, I wouldn't use it to see if my kids are doing well in school or if my wife is taking good care of our wayward kids since I would anger them by wasting this precious time in a dumb or pointless manner.

We should utilize this precious time to express our love for each other.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: We should make the most of this valuable moment by showing each other how much we care.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123914 11/30 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1047
123913 The problem with traveling by airplane. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1405
123912 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123911 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123910 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2016
123909 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1176
123908 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 976
123907 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2
123906 What themes have fascinated artists most through time? Why are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1150
123905 Homework (11/25) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2
123904 What are the bad sides of being overweight? What are the things... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1417
123903 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1800
123902 Homework (11/30) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 6
123901 Airplanes are very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 922
123900 HOMEWORK: How much free time do you spend on the net? Would you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123899 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123898 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123897 Too much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123896 Tipping culture in Korea ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1359
123895 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04