¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How would you maintain a good relationship with your family if you could only interact online?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-09-22 1233

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I go to other regions in our country, or overseas on business, I could interact with my family only online. Perhaps, I would keep in touch with my family members as much as possible whenever I have spare time to talk with them. However, I wouldn't use it to check whether my children are doing good at school or not, or whether my wife is taking care of mischievous children well or not because my children and my wife may be offended by my spending this limited time foolishly or meaninlessly. We should utilize this precious time to express our love for each other.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Steve!
(^___^)

It's long been taught by the book of love, but now scientists suggest that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, particularly when it comes to intimacy. Thus; constant communication is a must.

Online communication is often denigrated as a poor replacement of face-to-face time.
It¡¯s a digital world, and to ignore that would be foolish. The chief advantage of online communication is that both geography and time are relatively, if not completely, unimportant.

Thank you so much for this composition.
Have a good day!^^

__T. Mayleen :)


If I go to other regions in our country, or overseas on business, I could interact with my family only online.
>>> If I go to other regions in our country or overseas on business, I can interact with my family only online.
>>> OR: If I go for work to other parts of the county or abroad, I can only communicate with my family online.

Perhaps, I would keep in touch with my family members as much as possible whenever I have spare time to talk with them.
>>> Perhaps, I will keep in touch with my family members as much as possible whenever I have spare time to talk with them.

However, I wouldn't use it to check whether my children are doing good at school or not, or whether my wife is taking care of mischievous children well or not because my children and my wife may be offended by my spending this limited time foolishly or meaninlessly.
>>> However, I wouldn't use it to check whether my children are doing well at school or not, or whether my wife is taking care of our mischievous children well or not, because my children and my wife may be offended by my spending this limited time foolishly or meaninglessly.
>>> OR: However, I wouldn't use it to see if my kids are doing well in school or if my wife is taking good care of our wayward kids since I would anger them by wasting this precious time in a dumb or pointless manner.

We should utilize this precious time to express our love for each other.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: We should make the most of this valuable moment by showing each other how much we care.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127903 May 1, 2023 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 906
127902 homework 05.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 936
127901 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 3
127900 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 945
127899 4/28 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 2
127898 5.1 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 1175
127897 teenagers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 736
127896 Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 706
127895 The biggest change how families are in Korea ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 872
127894 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 0
127893 I think there are many merits if students wear a uniform of the... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1
127892 How often should a person travel and why? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1122
127891 have you ever taken any diet supplements? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1236
127890 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 981
127889 What do you think is the i ded he ight for men in Korea? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 2
127888 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1262
127887 Do you believe that people must work hard to become successful?... õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1
127886 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1551
127885 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 4
127884 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04