¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-09-21 1717

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening, T donna.
Another peaceful day~
After a long period, I had a morning off.
This morning, my wife and I rode a bike in the Central park.
It was a great time for us.
Actually, my wife were not good at riding a bicycle.
But, she was getting better today for my advice.
It's a secret between you and me that she fell down more than 5 times. LOL
Today's homework is about my best friends.
One of my best friends is Doctor MJ whom you know.
He was born in 1987 and he has two sisters.
He got married and he has one son.
Sadly, his mother passed away around three years ago.
His height is 180 cm, he is handsome and very smart.
Both of us really like delicious foods.
As you know, I like alcohols, while he doesn't like that.
Thus, everytime we drink, I was always drunken, and then he took me my home.
While I like many people, he doesn't have many friends.
However, he really does good to his people.
He try to do best to me, and I know it.
We know each other very well.
Catch you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Goo day, Dr. Kim!

It is refreshing to know that you and your wife had some sweet moments together riding the bicycle. You must have the perfect weather to do this activity yesterday. Anyway, I hope that you can have more activities together to enrich your marriage and bond you closer and stronger than ever. Maybe it is the small things that matter in marriage over the years. Now, she is biking like a pro, thanks to you!

Doctor MJ has been very kind to you and vice versa. Not only that you are business partners, you are also very close friends. It is true when they say that lifetime friendship is better build when you have a business than having friendship and not the other way around. I hope that you will be friends and partners in business for life.

For your composition, a great portion contains correct sentences. Some of the suggestions focus on correct choice of words 'syntax' or the right determiner 'a, the'. In addition, always be keen on your subject-verb agreement. Overall, your message was easily understood since the organization was excellent.

Keep writing very well!

Thanks and see you soon.

-T. Donna~

Good evening, T donna.
>> Correct!
Or: Good evening, T. Donna.

Another peaceful day~
>> Correct!
Or: It was another peaceful day.

After a long period, I had a morning off.
>> Correct!
Or:  I had some time off after a long period of time.

This morning, my wife and I rode a bike in the Central park.
>> Correct!
Or: This morning, my wife and I rode a bike at Central Park.

It was a great time for us.
>> Correct!

Actually, my wife were not good at riding a bicycle.
>> Actually, my wife is not good at riding the bicycle.

But, she was getting better today for my advice.
>> But, she got better today due to my advice.

It's a secret between you and me that she fell down more than 5 times. LOL
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about my best friends.
>> Correct!

One of my best friends is Doctor MJ whom you know.
>> Correct!

He was born in 1987 and he has two sisters.
>> Correct!

He got married and he has one son.
>> Correct!

Sadly, his mother passed away around three years ago.
>> Correct!

His height is 180 cm, he is handsome and very smart.
>> Correct!

Both of us really like delicious foods.
>> Correct!
Or: food

As you know, I like alcohols, while he doesn't like that.
>> Correct!
Or: alcohol

Thus, everytime we drink, I was always drunken, and then he took me my home.
>> Thus, every time we drink, I always get drunk, and then he takes me home.

While I like many people, he doesn't have many friends.
>> Correct!

However, he really does good to his people.
>> Correct!

He try to do best to me, and I know it.
>> He tries to do his best to me and I know it.
 
We know each other very well.
>> Correct!

Catch you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121621 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 597
121620 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 319
121619 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1
121618 Is Chuseok seen as a time of year to reunite with family,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 925
121617 Bad service ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121616 What kind of phone do you have? etc. ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 818
121615 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 472
121614 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 350
121613 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 658
121612 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 750
121611 Which is more comfortable: sleeping alone or sleeping with... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121610 Tell us something interesting about yourself ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 547
121609 Daily essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 5
121608 What is the significance of the holiday today? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 310
121607 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 734
121606 When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 978
121605 My hardship ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 397
121604 What is the best thing about being married? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1
121603 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 811
121602 What are some reasons why privacy is important for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 423

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04