¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The slender body.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2022-09-20 1962

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think the fashion and advertising industries are responsible for keeping women skinny. Because there are only very skinny people in the fashion and advertising industries. People long for and dream of that skinny body as beautiful. Women risk themselves to be skinny.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


Yes, I think the fashion and advertising industries are responsible for keeping women skinny. 
>>> CORRECT!

Because there are only very skinny people in the fashion and advertising industries. 
>>> CORRECT!

People long for and dream of that skinny body as beautiful. 
>>> CORRECT!

Women risk themselves to be skinny.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121275 8.1 ¼÷Á¦ ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 13
121274 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 377
121273 Traveling to a new country. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 579
121272 What was your most recent travel experience? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 638
121271 Stress Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121270 Making three sentences using \"Count\" ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 238
121269 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1001
121268 What do you think is the most common crime in your country? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1259
121267 let me introduce my self ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121266 About school cafeterias ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1
121265 class review. À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1
121264 How are you similar to your parents? How are you different? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 968
121263 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 623
121262 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 254
121261 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 2
121260 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-08-02 1
121259 Do you think that human beings can learn anything from animals? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 404
121258 What are the benefits of reading books? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 138
121257 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 0
121256 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04