¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: If something is annoying you, what do you usually do? Explain your opinion in five sentenc

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-20 2502

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~T. Annie
HOMEWORK:

There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something. If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly. what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means. for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want. and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions. after my calculations, I'll do it. It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation. Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them. Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow. It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jason, here's my corrections for this homework. I am impressed with how you make your sentences with complete thought. However, please do consider correct punctuation and capitalization. Remember, commas (,) are used for separating thoughts and ideas, while periods (.) are used to end a sentence and remember that every after a period (.) you should start the next sentence with a capital letter. Please review my corrections and also, remember that it's okay to use simple words rather than difficult sounding ones. Keeping sentences simple makes it a lot easier for you to express yourself. You did great today! Thank you very much, Jason! :)

- Teacher Raven 



There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something.
>> There are many obstacles in life, it can be a thing or even a person.
If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
>> If some situations, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means.
>> If something is annoying me, I'll overcome it by all means.
for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
>> For instance, I was eager to eat sushi, however, the stores which sell fish are closed. If I went fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions.
>> Lastly, if someone is annoying me, I'll think about the situation and our relationship and I'll consider the results what I'll be doing.
after my calculations, I'll do it.
>> After carefully thinking about it, I'll consider doing it.
It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation.
>> I can give them a warning or a conciliation between us.
Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them.
>> From my experiences, people who ask for explanations are not likely to change even if I did so.
Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow.
>> There's a saying that goes like, "We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow."
It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.
>> It depends upon the situation, but I'll consider these things when I make my decisions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117419 Brushing ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 10
117418 Mama\'s boy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 1
117417 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 159
117416 Favorite book character ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 570
117415 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 143
117414 What do you do to avoid catching COVID-19? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 369
117413 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-03-16 404
117412 About computers controlling the house. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 140
117411 Losting My Dream Lense ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 112
117410 Do you think you have enough time to do the things you want to... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 457
117409 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117408 Food makes my family happy. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 159
117407 What weakness in the past that you already overcame? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 163
117406 How do you handle stress? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 401
117405 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 1
117404 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117403 What part of your culture are you most proud of? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0
117402 Answer to \\ ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117401 Was there any part of the BTS concert that you didn\'t like? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117400 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04