¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: If something is annoying you, what do you usually do? Explain your opinion in five sentenc

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-20 2380

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~T. Annie
HOMEWORK:

There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something. If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly. what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means. for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want. and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions. after my calculations, I'll do it. It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation. Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them. Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow. It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jason, here's my corrections for this homework. I am impressed with how you make your sentences with complete thought. However, please do consider correct punctuation and capitalization. Remember, commas (,) are used for separating thoughts and ideas, while periods (.) are used to end a sentence and remember that every after a period (.) you should start the next sentence with a capital letter. Please review my corrections and also, remember that it's okay to use simple words rather than difficult sounding ones. Keeping sentences simple makes it a lot easier for you to express yourself. You did great today! Thank you very much, Jason! :)

- Teacher Raven 



There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something.
>> There are many obstacles in life, it can be a thing or even a person.
If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
>> If some situations, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means.
>> If something is annoying me, I'll overcome it by all means.
for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
>> For instance, I was eager to eat sushi, however, the stores which sell fish are closed. If I went fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions.
>> Lastly, if someone is annoying me, I'll think about the situation and our relationship and I'll consider the results what I'll be doing.
after my calculations, I'll do it.
>> After carefully thinking about it, I'll consider doing it.
It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation.
>> I can give them a warning or a conciliation between us.
Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them.
>> From my experiences, people who ask for explanations are not likely to change even if I did so.
Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow.
>> There's a saying that goes like, "We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow."
It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.
>> It depends upon the situation, but I'll consider these things when I make my decisions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119520 6.1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-02 93
119519 vacation ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-02 148
119518 What is your most traumatic experience? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-02 117
119517 Can you talk about two places you would like to go on vacation? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 172
119516 Where do you want to go for your next business trip? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 4
119515 What kind of organization are you dreaming of creating? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 275
119514 6/1 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 80
119513 Do you agree that companies should be fined if they don¡¯t... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 253
119512 What do you think is the biggest contributing factor to young... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 126
119511 Complete the sentences ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 76
119510 What makes you want to stay in your town for a very long time or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 150
119509 What is your opinion about Xenophobia in your country? Does it... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 343
119508 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 85
119507 What advice would you give to people staring in business? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 1
119506 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 153
119505 Do you think that most people are naturally able to get along... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 2
119504 What was the most interesting thing you did during a holiday? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 112
119503 How important are clocks for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 91
119502 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 75
119501 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 79

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04