¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: If something is annoying you, what do you usually do? Explain your opinion in five sentenc

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-20 2217

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~T. Annie
HOMEWORK:

There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something. If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly. what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means. for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want. and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions. after my calculations, I'll do it. It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation. Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them. Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow. It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jason, here's my corrections for this homework. I am impressed with how you make your sentences with complete thought. However, please do consider correct punctuation and capitalization. Remember, commas (,) are used for separating thoughts and ideas, while periods (.) are used to end a sentence and remember that every after a period (.) you should start the next sentence with a capital letter. Please review my corrections and also, remember that it's okay to use simple words rather than difficult sounding ones. Keeping sentences simple makes it a lot easier for you to express yourself. You did great today! Thank you very much, Jason! :)

- Teacher Raven 



There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something.
>> There are many obstacles in life, it can be a thing or even a person.
If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
>> If some situations, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means.
>> If something is annoying me, I'll overcome it by all means.
for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
>> For instance, I was eager to eat sushi, however, the stores which sell fish are closed. If I went fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions.
>> Lastly, if someone is annoying me, I'll think about the situation and our relationship and I'll consider the results what I'll be doing.
after my calculations, I'll do it.
>> After carefully thinking about it, I'll consider doing it.
It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation.
>> I can give them a warning or a conciliation between us.
Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them.
>> From my experiences, people who ask for explanations are not likely to change even if I did so.
Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow.
>> There's a saying that goes like, "We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow."
It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.
>> It depends upon the situation, but I'll consider these things when I make my decisions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121917 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 885
121916 My dream ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1
121915 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 2
121914 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 644
121913 Homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1
121912 A1. How control fatigue ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 735
121911 What does a healthy diet look like to you? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 2
121910 Do you agree that the minimum age for legally punishing... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 925
121909 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 980
121908 support ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 997
121907 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 0
121906 Explain or describe the value of personal time in your life ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1639
121905 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1
121904 Why do people take photos? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 4
121903 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 896
121902 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 787
121901 Do you believe in love at first sight? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 0
121900 Where do you want to travel to before you die? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 544
121899 Which is more pleasant, forgiving or taking revenge? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2006
121898 Tell me something about yourself ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1121

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04