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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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9/19 homework

작성자: 윤*현
2022-09-19 2008

회원님의 영작문

Anyone might have stressful events but it is different to overcome the situation for everyone.
I think I am relatively good at handling my stress.
I usually feel stressful when there are important tasks that is close to the deadline.
Especially, I get nervous in the situation when I don’t get enough sleep.
To avoid this situation, I try to start the project early.
When I couldn’t focus on missions, I have a time to refresh taking a walk around the park and eating delicious food like chocholate.
Also, It’s difficult to deal with people who have different characteristics from mine.
I find positve and great aspects from people and understand their action.
It makes me peaceful and less stressful.
In my opinion, proper stress makes people more competent and developemental, but excess stress gives people physically and psychologically weakness.
It's desirable to find ways to alleviate stress and revitalize.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Tuesday, Dr. Stella!

I strongly agree that stress is needed  when we want to grow as stronger and more resilient matured human beings. It is already a given in life. Therefore, we can prepare, organize, and eventually be successful. I guess, there isn't anything you can conquer having this kind of mindset. You have stated your points in a very clear and smooth composition below. 

By this time, you are using very appropriate vocabulary as well as recasting recasting your ideas- it is in the manner that you say something through writing that makes it artistic and more meaningful. I admire your writing skills. You've done a wonderful job, keep the bar high!

Enjoy your day!

-T. Donna~

Anyone might have stressful events but it is different to overcome the situation for everyone.
>> Anyone might have stressful events but it is different to overcome a situation for everyone.

I think I am relatively good at handling my stress.
>> Correct!

I usually feel stressful when there are important tasks that is close to the deadline.
>> I usually feel stressed when there are important tasks that are close to the deadline.

Especially, I get nervous in the situation when I don’t get enough sleep.
>> Correct!

To avoid this situation, I try to start the project early.
>> Correct!

When I couldn’t focus on missions, I have a time to refresh taking a walk around the park and eating delicious food like chocholate.
>> When I couldn’t focus on missions, I have time to refresh by taking a walk around the park and eating delicious food like chocholate.

Also, It’s difficult to deal with people who have different characteristics from mine.
>> Correct!
Or: it's

I find positve and great aspects from people and understand their action.
>> Correct!

It makes me peaceful and less stressful.
>> Correct!

In my opinion, proper stress makes people more competent and developemental, but excess stress gives people physically and psychologically weakness.
>> In my opinion, proper stress makes people more competent and developemental, but excess stress gives people physical and psychological weakness.

It's desirable to find ways to alleviate stress and revitalize.
>> Correct!
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