¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think of cosmetic surgery?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-09-19 2588

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, some cosmetic surgery is common things like double eyelid surgery, or nose..
Almost my friends and even I got a surgery.
I think it is a trend. Media are always shows beautiful super stars. And people are for long that people.
But everyone knows, too much cosmetic surgery are dangerous.
It might cause side effects and lose your real face and body.
On the one hand it a sad storise. People are attentive to a person gaze so they want to be a beautiful appearence.
Somedays all the people would know that 'Beauty is skin deep'.
That days, the natural skin would be a trend so people loves their own apperance. I hope that world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Eun Chae!
You are beautiful inside and out.  Check your spelling when making sentences and follow the correct patterns suggested.  Ask questions more often to clarify and learn from the answers.  ^^


~T. Maine


Nowadays, some cosmetic surgery is common things like double eyelid surgery, or nose..
>> Nowadays, some cosmetic surgeries are common like double eyelid surgery or nose lift surgery. 
Almost my friends and even I got a surgery.
>> Almost all of my friends and I got the surgery. 
I think it is a trend. 
>>  Correct. 
Media are always shows beautiful super stars.
>>  Media always shows beautiful superstars. 
 And people are for long that people.
>> And people are longing to be like those people. 
But everyone knows, too much cosmetic surgery are dangerous.
>> But everyone knows that too much cosmetic surgery is dangerous. 
It might cause side effects and lose your real face and body.
>> It might lead to terrible side effects and lose  your real face and body. 
On the one hand it a sad storise. 
>> On the other hand, it is a sad story, 
People are attentive to a person gaze so they want to be a beautiful appearence.
>> People are attentive to a person's gaze so they want to be pretty with their appearance. 
Somedays all the people would know that 'Beauty is skin deep'.
>> Someday, all people would know that "Beauty is skin deep."
That days, the natural skin would be a trend so people loves their own apperance. 
>> Those days, natural skin would be a trend so people love their own appearance. 
I hope that world.
>> I hope to be in that kind of world. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124589 Vacuum cleaner! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1911
124588 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 3
124587 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 619
124586 Have you ever experienced being harassed or have ever been a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 691
124585 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1
124584 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 0
124583 If he would contact you, and says. \"Hi\" what will you say?... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 0
124582 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 950
124581 humiliation ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 651
124580 How were your Christmas Eve and Christmas day? Share in a few... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 0
124579 Santa\'s secerets ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 479
124578 How often do you read the newspaper? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 849
124577 2.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1
124576 Should people stop eating fast food? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 831
124575 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 0
124574 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 3
124573 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 677
124572 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 847
124571 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 702
124570 the resolution ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 626

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04