¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think of cosmetic surgery?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-09-19 2626

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, some cosmetic surgery is common things like double eyelid surgery, or nose..
Almost my friends and even I got a surgery.
I think it is a trend. Media are always shows beautiful super stars. And people are for long that people.
But everyone knows, too much cosmetic surgery are dangerous.
It might cause side effects and lose your real face and body.
On the one hand it a sad storise. People are attentive to a person gaze so they want to be a beautiful appearence.
Somedays all the people would know that 'Beauty is skin deep'.
That days, the natural skin would be a trend so people loves their own apperance. I hope that world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Eun Chae!
You are beautiful inside and out.  Check your spelling when making sentences and follow the correct patterns suggested.  Ask questions more often to clarify and learn from the answers.  ^^


~T. Maine


Nowadays, some cosmetic surgery is common things like double eyelid surgery, or nose..
>> Nowadays, some cosmetic surgeries are common like double eyelid surgery or nose lift surgery. 
Almost my friends and even I got a surgery.
>> Almost all of my friends and I got the surgery. 
I think it is a trend. 
>>  Correct. 
Media are always shows beautiful super stars.
>>  Media always shows beautiful superstars. 
 And people are for long that people.
>> And people are longing to be like those people. 
But everyone knows, too much cosmetic surgery are dangerous.
>> But everyone knows that too much cosmetic surgery is dangerous. 
It might cause side effects and lose your real face and body.
>> It might lead to terrible side effects and lose  your real face and body. 
On the one hand it a sad storise. 
>> On the other hand, it is a sad story, 
People are attentive to a person gaze so they want to be a beautiful appearence.
>> People are attentive to a person's gaze so they want to be pretty with their appearance. 
Somedays all the people would know that 'Beauty is skin deep'.
>> Someday, all people would know that "Beauty is skin deep."
That days, the natural skin would be a trend so people loves their own apperance. 
>> Those days, natural skin would be a trend so people love their own appearance. 
I hope that world.
>> I hope to be in that kind of world. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125050 My favorite a activity is skate. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 731
125049 Is renting a car convenient for everyone when they go to another... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125048 Is it always needed to make replacements for something you have... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125047 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 734
125046 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 2
125045 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 2
125044 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 773
125043 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 3
125042 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 0
125041 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 1818
125040 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 574
125039 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 703
125038 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 542
125037 Who is your favorite past government official? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125036 Why do you think it¡¯s important to vote? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125035 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125034 How important is it to smile when you meet someone for the first... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125033 Did you like the experience of speaking with your Indian... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 1
125032 What makes you happy? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 588
125031 If someone talk about me. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 731

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04