¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think of cosmetic surgery?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-09-19 2884

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, some cosmetic surgery is common things like double eyelid surgery, or nose..
Almost my friends and even I got a surgery.
I think it is a trend. Media are always shows beautiful super stars. And people are for long that people.
But everyone knows, too much cosmetic surgery are dangerous.
It might cause side effects and lose your real face and body.
On the one hand it a sad storise. People are attentive to a person gaze so they want to be a beautiful appearence.
Somedays all the people would know that 'Beauty is skin deep'.
That days, the natural skin would be a trend so people loves their own apperance. I hope that world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Eun Chae!
You are beautiful inside and out.  Check your spelling when making sentences and follow the correct patterns suggested.  Ask questions more often to clarify and learn from the answers.  ^^


~T. Maine


Nowadays, some cosmetic surgery is common things like double eyelid surgery, or nose..
>> Nowadays, some cosmetic surgeries are common like double eyelid surgery or nose lift surgery. 
Almost my friends and even I got a surgery.
>> Almost all of my friends and I got the surgery. 
I think it is a trend. 
>>  Correct. 
Media are always shows beautiful super stars.
>>  Media always shows beautiful superstars. 
 And people are for long that people.
>> And people are longing to be like those people. 
But everyone knows, too much cosmetic surgery are dangerous.
>> But everyone knows that too much cosmetic surgery is dangerous. 
It might cause side effects and lose your real face and body.
>> It might lead to terrible side effects and lose  your real face and body. 
On the one hand it a sad storise. 
>> On the other hand, it is a sad story, 
People are attentive to a person gaze so they want to be a beautiful appearence.
>> People are attentive to a person's gaze so they want to be pretty with their appearance. 
Somedays all the people would know that 'Beauty is skin deep'.
>> Someday, all people would know that "Beauty is skin deep."
That days, the natural skin would be a trend so people loves their own apperance. 
>> Those days, natural skin would be a trend so people love their own appearance. 
I hope that world.
>> I hope to be in that kind of world. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127772 A bad habit ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 0
127771 How do you feel when you see a beggar? Do you want to give them... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1
127770 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1198
127769 What comes to mind when you hear the word \'disability\'? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 5
127768 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1285
127767 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1074
127766 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1481
127765 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 859
127764 Advantage or disadvantage of rent a house ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 4
127763 4.25 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1297
127762 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1171
127761 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1227
127760 Give two sample sentences for each word: bury, expression, and... õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 2
127759 What do you wish you could bring home from the places you\'ve... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 995
127758 Is freedom of speech a necessity in a functional society? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1
127757 Do you usually cook for your loved ones? Why or why not? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1083
127756 What things do you love doing with your friends? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 951
127755 Camping ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1292
127754 Losing something in traveling ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1
127753 How do you introduce yourself in a Korean business setting? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04